Elizabeth Warren is running to become America’s Mommy-in-Chief and to bring the rebellious Zoomer generation back into line with the help of a stiff ruler and a stern talking to. But before she can do that, she has to get through the Basketball American community.

For some reason, they don’t seem to like 70-year-old Native American women who look like homeroom teachers telling them how things are going to be.

Daily Mail:

Dozens of protesters interrupted Elizabeth Warren’s campaign rally at Clark University in Atlanta, Georgia the night after the debate, causing supporters in attendance to counter with chants of their own.

The protesters, nearly all black men and women, were all wearing matching black shirts with white lettering that read: ‘Powerful Parent Network.’ About five minutes into her stump speech, the group began stomping their feet on the rhythmically on the gymnasium risers in the L.S. Epps Gymnasium at the historically black university.

They then began recited several chants, including: ‘We want to be heard.’

This prompted the hundreds of others attending the rally in support of Warren to chant back, ‘Let her speak.’

Warren gave up trying to speak over the shouting and appeared to want to wait it out.

Mommy is not used to being shouted down. Why would the mischievous children do that? To Warren of all people – the hippest candidate out there!

Time to deploy a tactical POC!

When she was able to continue her speech after a few minutes of protest, the demonstrators persisted.

Finally, freshman Representative Ayanna Pressley, a black congresswoman for Massachusetts who has endorsed Warren and introduced the candidate a few minutes earlier, came back on stage to attempt to silence the protesters.

‘I want to say something,’ Pressley said when she joined the candidate on stage. ‘No one is here to quiet you, least not this black woman, who know what it is when people have tried to put me in a corner and tell me to be silent.’

Warren stood over Pressley’s right shoulder as her congressional colleague came to her defense.

‘You are welcome here,’ she continued. ‘The senator is here to talk about the contributions fighters like you have made to history.’

Folks, there’s no other way to put this, but with the other candidates falling behind, we have to (reluctantly) start reporting on Elizabeth Warren. Personally, I get hit with a strong gag reflex every time I see/hear her up there on stage pretending to be my concerned mommy who thinks giving the bully-billionaires a stern talking to will stop them stealing the lunch money. But I guess we’re going to be talking about her now.

It really is a shame.

I would have preferred covering Joe Biden instead because he and his senior moments are just so much more fun.

The memes write themselves. 

The best we can hope for with Elizabeth Warren is that black people will continue to harass her and eventually trigger a Heated Gamer Moment. To my knowledge, Elizabeth Warren has not officially been awarded an N-Word Pass by the Basketball American community to date.

I think it would be a huge mistake for her to use any gamer words before the ink on the certificate dries.

In fact, I would strongly advise against it.

One more unforeseen problem going forward is that Elizabeth Warren will be forced to keep a black person near her at all times to defend her against other irate POCs trying to protest her proposed Mommy Occupation Government. This will wear her down as the campaign continues because black people are very hard to deal with in larger doses because of their entitled and childish behavior.

In other words, her attempt to stave off the inevitable will backfire. 

I’m calling it now: it is only a matter of time before Elizabeth Warren drops a hard N at a rally, folks.

She may even beat Biden to the punch (heh) if this continues.

Wow.

No one has adequately explained to me why Lindsey Graham has become so based lately.

His lover McCain dying as an explanation is funny… but is that really what’s made this man do a complete 180?

No, I’m sure that there’s a much more scientific explanation.

Can’t argue with the results and the science behind Super Male Vitality .

Lindsay must be on a booster course of it. No other explanation for it.

The Hill:

Sen. Lindsay Graham (R-S.C.) told Fox and Friends on Tuesday that he would be taking a DNA test, and that he thinks he can “beat” Sen. Elizabeth Warren (D-Ma.) in terms of the amount of Cherokee heritage that it will show.

“I’ve been told that my grandmother was part Cherokee Indian, it may all be just talk, but you’re gonna find out in a couple of weeks because I’m gonna take this test,” he said.

Warren released the results of a DNA test Monday which “strongly support[s]” her claims of some Native American ancestry. This move has been seen as an effort to respond to critics, primarily Trump, who have repeatedly claimed that she is fabricating her heritage.

She is officially between 1/64th and 1/1012th Indian. That is her actual full claim, based on the test. This is less than the average white American, who is 1.7% Indian.

Trump went as far as to promise to donate $1 million to her charity of choice if she took a DNA test.

When asked if he also wanted $1 million, Graham joked that he “wants a casino and a million bucks.” 

I hear you, Lindsay.

I want some of that Red Man heritage as well so that I can screw over the pale-faces with liquor and cozy casinos.

ALSO.

Are we now OK with DNA tests? Ok with acknowledging that race is real?

If you can tell genetically if someone has Indian heritage… is it perhaps possible that race is somehow quantifiable and related to biology???

Let us see how the NPCs handle this new conundrum.

Chief Shits-on-White-People is in big trouble. Maybe. Like idk. Dems never seem to get into trouble for anything, ever. Because Republicans never hold their feet to the fire.

But that was before Trump. That was before Kavanaugh. That was before it was enshrined in Supreme Court law that it is legal to rape this bitch to death, politically and otherwise.

Because the test results are in!

Elizabeth Warren… you are… NOT AN INDIAN!!

Breitbart News:

As Sen. Elizabeth Warren (D-MA) reveals her DNA test purporting to show she has anywhere between 0.1 percent to 1.56 percent Native American ancestry, the liberal lawmaker remains ineligible for Cherokee Nation citizenship.

On Monday, Warren claimed she is vindicated after she released the findings of a DNA test which claims she is at the most 1/64th Native American and at the least, 1/1,024.

The DNA findings, regardless of their legitimacy, do not make her eligible for Cherokee Nation citizenship. Nor does the DNA test make Warren eligible to join the Eastern Band of the Cherokee or the United Keetoowah Band of Cherokee.

And the Cherokees responded by BANNING her from the teepee/pow-wow/casino/whatever.

Inbox: Cherokee Nation responds to Senator Warren’s DNA test. pic.twitter.com/Sh8aNZgyAT

— Justin Wingerter (@JustinWingerter) October 15, 2018

Damn, I bet that felt good. For the Indians I mean.

They must be inundated with lost White girls trying to get in touch with their non-existent red man roots because they watched Pocahontas as a kid and think Indians can magically talk to trees and shit.

Indians, however, are creepy and overall, they’re just shitty brown people that used to have cool ethnic garb. That’s pretty much it. 

In fact, I understand why Columbus mistook them for the other kind of Indians.

What I don’t understand is how White girls aren’t as creeped out by red Indians as they are by the other kind.

In the end, it must have been all those romantic movies, right?

Last of the Mohicans really really did a number on my generation, didn’t it?

In the future ethnostate, movies glorifying the “noble savage” will be banned.

That is until the technology gets up to the point where we can literally “reverse-Cherokee” the actors and make them White.

Because White women can’t tell fiction from fantasy. And it would be expensive to DNA test all of them.

UPDATE: 

Shockingly, the Jewish media is siding with her.

Seriously.

The motherfucking New York Times is saying this puts DRUMPF on the defensive.

New York Times:

It is a racial taunt made by the president of the United States, not unlike his discredited claim that Barack Obama was not born in America.

And just as President Trump’s embrace of birtherism led to the remarkable spectacle of President Obama’s birth certificate being distributed in the White House, Mr. Trump’s unrelenting mockery of Senator Elizabeth Warren as “Pocahontas” — questioning her claims about having Native American heritage — has prompted Ms. Warren to release the results of a DNA test that she says provide proof of her ancestry.

There is “strong evidence” that Ms. Warren has Native American pedigree “6-10 generations ago,” according to a document she released Monday from Dr. Carlos Bustamante, a renowned geneticist. The error rate is less than one-in-a-thousand, he said.

Ms. Warren’s elaborate attempt to neutralize Mr. Trump’s attacks represented the surest sign yet that she intends to run for president in 2020. Not only did the Massachusetts senator release the DNA results, but she created a fact-check website that details her Native American ancestry and her Oklahoma roots. The site also includes documents that Ms. Warren says make clear her heritage “had no role whatsoever” in her advancement during her academic rise as a Harvard law professor — as some Republicans have asserted.

And of course, every other news outlet is going along with this New York Times.

You have to BELIVE WOMEN who test at 1% Indian are Trve Cherokee Princesses.

This is like a test to see if people are willing to go along with whatever the media says.

I can’t even believe it.

I cannot even believe that they have the nerve to come out and say that being 1% of a race on a DNA test does not mean that it is outright fraud that you claimed being that thing to get scholarships and then base your entire DNA on it.

Anything short of formally accusing this woman of living a lie her entire life is completely insane and unbelievable.

But yeah, this is the way it works – I guess the Democrat believers are just going to have to download the new update.

A man accused of beating to death his cellmate at the county jail has been declared incompetent to stand trial and may claim insanity if he goes to trial.

Mark A. Cowans, 18, of Warren, is accused of beating Ryan Hagerman, 34, of Warren, on May 28, in the Macomb County Jail in Mount Clemens. Hagerman died from his injuries June 19. The incident was captured on video. Officials believe the men did not know each other prior to incarceration.

Cowans was ruled unable to continue with court proceedings last month by Judge Carrie Fuca of 41B District Court in Clinton Township, based on an evaluation of Cowans by mental health experts at the state Center for Forensic Psychiatry near Ypsilanti.

But experts also indicated there is “substantial probability” Cowans will be restored to competency within the 15-month period required in order for him to be subject to criminal charges, according to attorneys involved in the case.

“He is receiving therapy and medications at the Forensic Center,” Cowans’ defense attorney, Steve Kaplan, said. “Ultimately, he should be found competent to stand trial, probably in about four to six months.”

Kaplan said Cowans has had mental issues in the past but has not been violent.

Cowans, who was in jail on a charge of carrying a concealed weapon May 26 in Warren, was originally charged with assault with intent to do great bodily harm, punishable by up to 10 years in prison, for the beating. Following Hagerman’s death, county Prosecutor Eric Smith issued a first-degree murder warrant for Cowans. However, Cowans had not been formally charged in court due to his lack of competency.

Cowans also will be tested by state experts on whether he was criminally responsible. A determination that he didn’t realize his alleged actions were criminal could be used in an insanity defense. Kaplan likely also will seek an independent evaluation, he said.

The next court date in the fatal beating is Dec. 17 in 41B District Court.

A Sept. 29 pretrial for his CCW charge in Macomb County Circuit Court in Mount Clemens likely will be adjourned.

Opening statements are set to begin Monday for a capital murder case in Warren.

And along with it comes plans for heightened security.

David Martin faces the death penalty in the killing of Jeremy Cole almost two years ago.

Police say the suspect was tied up during robbery and shot in the head.

A woman. Melissa Putnam, was also shot but survived.

If convicted, the jury could recommend Martin be executed, serve life in prison with no chance of parole or parole after at least 20-years.