pic.twitter.com/UAwTYnUZ4a

— BIacks Taking L’s (@NsPostingFs) August 6, 2023

Well.

I actually already knew this.

Mabel Banfield-Nwachi writes for The Guardian:

“Us girls, we have a lot of problems down there and it’s an absolute nightmare,” one influencer says on TikTok, like a seasoned teleshopping host. She reels off a list that includes thrush, bacterial vaginosis (BV) and urinary tract infections – common issues that many women are too shy, insecure or squeamish to talk about. But she has an answer to these woes: vaginal probiotic pills. These are being touted on the social media site as magical new supplements that can improve the health of your vaginal microbiome.

But what is the vaginal microbiome? And does it need to be fixed? According to Ina Schuppe Koistinen, an associate professor at the Karolinska Institutet in Sweden and an expert in the subject, the term refers to the gene content of the microbes in that area of the body. “You can also call it the vaginal microbiota – or vaginal flora – and it means all the microbes that are present. That’s bacteria, but also viruses, fungi and all kinds of single-cell organisms.” We all have microbiota in other parts of the body, too, including on the skin and in the gut. The health of the microbiome is determined by the delicate balance of microbes.

A healthy vaginal microbiome would be dominated by lactobacilli, especially the species called lactobacillus crispatus. These bacteria are our first protection against infections. They help keep the pH of the organ low (yes, vaginas have their own pH, usually somewhere between 3.8 and 4.5) and create an environment that is hostile to other pathogenic bacteria that might knock the microbiome out of balance and cause infections such as BV and thrush.

Infections arise when this careful balance of bacteria is upset. The main culprits? Fragranced soaps, harsh detergents and antibiotics, which can kill off the “good” as well as the “bad” lactobacilli. Unprotected sex also exposes you to bacteria in other people’s microbiomes; the more partners, the more potential varieties. Smoking can have an effect, too, because it can reduce the prevalence of the bacterium that protects the area from infection, meaning your chances of developing thrush or BV increase.

“Most women have small amounts of fungi in their vaginas, but when they take over it can cause a fungal infection like thrush,” Schuppe Koistinen says. “Semen has a neutral pH and adds nutrients to the vagina that make bacteria other than lactobacilli grow and take over.” Menstrual blood can also affect and raise the pH level, making the environment less favourable for lactobacilli and leading to an unbalanced microbiota.

…

Keeping vaginas happy might sound like a minefield, but often what works is leaving them to do what they do best: clean and protect themselves naturally. “The vagina is a self-cleaning organ. It has its own way of keeping the balance,” says Michelle Swer, a consultant gynaecologist. This means you should avoid douching – trying to clean inside the vagina – because it can harm this balance, or exacerbate an existing problem. The vulva, on the outside, can be cleaned “with water and a mild soap only”.

Vaginas have an inbuilt “plasticity”: if the microbiome is disrupted, it can usually correct itself. “We are all made for having menses and sex, so if you have a healthy microbiome, it tends to go back to its normal conditions,” says Schuppe Koistinen. “If you live a healthy life and eat well, sleep well and have safe sex, then you normally don’t even have to think about it.”

There are, however, small changes you can make. Using a menstrual cup instead of a tampon or a pad can help, because it “catches” blood from higher up in the vagina, so blood doesn’t sit for long periods of time. Using condoms for the first few months of sex with a new partner can also limit the effects that contact with other bacteria can have on the microbiome. Introducing more fermented foods, such as sauerkraut, kimchi, kefir and kombucha, can be beneficial.

Really disgusting to write about this in a normal human newspaper. Women should have special secret ways to communicate this so the public is not exposed.

But… there is a point here.

Menstrual cup

I wouldn’t put that plastic thing in any of my holes.

Also, this “free bleeding” thing is repulsive and is witchcraft.

Gen Z women are ditching pads, tampons and embracing ‘free bleeding’ in latest trend https://t.co/rOQ90Zpgim pic.twitter.com/nCqMwlvHzK

— New York Post (@nypost) September 6, 2023

Obviously, you can put a piece of cloth down there.

Although arguably… it actually would be better to just let it run out naturally. But you can’t do that in current society. Women would have to have “bleeder sheds” that they would go live in during this process. They can’t just be walking around like that. It’s vile.

With the issue of killing good bacteria with these chemical solutions and so on, this is accurate and obvious, and it’s an issue with all of these modern chemical products people use on their bodies (for men, it’s soap, deodorant, cologne, etc.).

“The Science” should be helping with this. Instead they’re trying to forcibly modify our DNA and claiming that paying higher taxes and eating bugs will change the weather. It’s just voodoo type stuff with these people, while there are important issues at hand.

Most of these “women’s cancers” are caused by birth control. That is definitely the case with breast cancer. But with the cervical cancers… it could well be all these poisonous chemicals these stupid bitches are shoving in their holes.

This is the American way: “I have a hole, therefore I must shove chemicals into it.”

Picture of a scared and scarred man, taken by a woman using her vagina as a camera shutter.

If something isn’t about vaginas, women will figure out a way to make it about vaginas.

Daily Mail:

An artist who uses her vagina as a camera shutter to take photographs of male subjects is among the creatives whose work features in a book providing an ‘unapologetic look’ at women’s sexuality.

A Woman’s Right To Pleasure, the brainchild of writer Alexandra Weiss and her colleagues at New York’s Black Book gallery, is an erotic assortment of artwork and essays which celebrates female pleasure.

The book was compiled as an ‘act of resistance’ to generate dialogue about women’s sexual gratification, Weiss told The Guardian, at a time when women’s reproductive rights were under threat from the Trump administration which had banned taxpayer-funded family planning clinics from referring patients for abortions.

After feeling her attempt to capture her subject in a ‘normal’ way generated a rather ‘flat’ image which didn’t reflect her perspective on their relationship, she came across the work of Ann Hamilton, who put pinhole cameras in her mouth.

Lessnau said it ‘hit her’ that if Hamilton could do that, what was stopping her putting a camera in another bodily orifice.

She transformed eight plastic film canisters into pinhole cameras and covered each one with a condom – telling the Guardian the process was, like sex, messy, with a single exposure taking up to a minute and a half and requiring her to remain still with her legs apart.

‘Sometimes the shoots were sexual and sometimes they weren’t,’ Lessnau told the publication, adding that she used friends and ex-lovers as her subjects who were initially uneasy about having to stare at her intimate region for prolonged periods of time.

‘But there was always a lot of desire. The men in the series all responded differently – some saw it as fun, freeing. There were always interesting conversations… by the eighth shot, people are disarmed.’

So she was experimenting on the men’s emotional reactions to being photographed with her vagina.

With regards to whether or not she is Jewish – she has a German name and she’s from New York, so probably. We would usually say “when it comes to women, it doesn’t really matter, white women all act like Jews now anyway,” but when it comes to inventing a new form of sexual perversion, then yes, that sounds remarkably Jewish.

She looks unmistakably Jewish.

What would be interesting to know is that if she was Jewish and the men were non-Jewish. It would then be another one of these sorts of experiments that the Jews do on us.

Remember that in Weimar Germany, the Jews were doing all sorts of weird experiments on people, including the first “sex change” surgeries. Now that Jews have brought back the tranny agenda and said it’s good, they’ve been bragging about the tranny doctor, stereotypical Jewish pervert Magnus Hirschfeld. (He even had a stereotypical Asian twink anal lover.)

The Jews had also created poverty and sucked up all the money, which forced goyim into prostitution, much of which was very weird.

The spread of weird sexual behaviors through society due to Jewish control of Germany was one of the reasons that the Bad Mustache Man was able to get so much traction.

Here’s a 1933 picture of some young people organized by Bad Mustache Man’s people marching in front of Hirschfeld’s “Institute for Sexual Research” in Berlin, demanding it be shut down.

(That’s probably an old BMW bike there, I guess? Hard to tell. It looks more like a British bike from the era, actually.)

The similarities between current America and Weimar Germany are actually staggering. You can see why Jews claimed Donald Trump was like Adolf Hitler. He wasn’t really very much like Adolf Hitler, but he was doing the same thing that Hitler did – he was complaining about the behavior of Jews, and saying he would fix it. You can see how they were hit with “oy vey, this is deja vu all over again,” despite the fact that Trump had nowhere near the willpower of Hitler.

Trump also lacked the romance. Hitler was a middle class artist, with a romantic vision of the future. Trump was a super rich celebrity who just wanted America to remain in the late 1980s and early 1990s era forever. Trump was just sort of fumbling around, whereas Hitler had this image in his mind.

He was literally rebuilding a new civilization.

Frankly, Albert Speer’s vision for Berlin, which you can see in this model, is a little bit overly modern. It was art deco and leaned a little bit too close to early brutalism.

It always seemed like Hitler would have insisted on art nouveau. I’ve never been given a satisfying explanation as to why Hitler embraced modernist architecture so heavily, given that Speer could just as easily have been ordered to design a nice art nouveau city.

Regardless, the fact that Trump himself was a builder of some of the ugliest buildings on earth is an interesting observation and point of contrast between the two men’s ways of thinking.

Here’s more of Alexandra Weiss’ “art” (note that that’s a direct link to her site, so she’ll be able to see that you clicked in from Daily Stormer – hopefully everyone is already using a proxy anyway).

It’s all pretty disgusting, but people should know that this is happening.

Fellow white woman Florence Schechter

Porn isn’t enough. Vaginas must be shown everywhere, all the time, to remind people that they exist.

This Vagina Museum that will open in London on November 16 is just the first step towards spreading Vaginal Knowledge.

BBC:

In 2017, Florence Schechter discovered that Iceland had a penis museum, but that nowhere in the world could its female equivalent be found. And so, the science communicator decided to do something about it. This month, in London, the Vagina Museum will be born.

In fact, it’s a pretty different proposition to the penis museum. “That’s kind of novelty, penises in jars,” Schechter explains. “We’re going to be much more thoughtful and actually explore the topic.”

First up, a note on the name. Schechter acknowledges the frustration at how the word “vagina” is often used when people are really talking about the external vulva (the labia, clitoris and vaginal opening) – but they needed a term people were already familiar with.

“A lot of people don’t know the word vulva, and people are not going to engage with something they don’t know,” she says. A Vagina Museum is, frankly, more eye-catching and conversation starting.

A lot of people do know the much more important word “bulba” though.

Conversations about Pokemon are significantly more interesting than conversations about vaginas, so maybe we should do Pokemon museums instead.

The museum will look at the entire gynaecological anatomy – the inside (uterus, cervix, ovaries) as well as the outside – and consider its representation in culture and history. But the fact a Vagina Museum needs a bit of a glossary in the first place is proof of its purpose.

“The gynaecological anatomy is a very stigmatised part of the body,” points out Schechter. “A museum is a place where conversations can happen – the best way to fight taboo and stigma is with knowledge.”

We are still crushingly bad at talking about all the bits between women’s legs – often ignorant or euphemistic, vague or embarrassed, even if we have a vagina ourselves. And wider culture attitudes to them run the gamut of sniggering, censorious, disgusted, objectifying, or actively oppressive.

Yes, culture shuns vaginas.

We need less vagina shaming and more vagina museums to educate people about all the parts of the female genitalia, because this is what we, as a vagina-shaming culture, are evidently lacking.

This inability to talk about female genitalia has certainly had its impact on Western art and culture. Taboos can make an image more powerful – but they can also lead to fearful depictions of the unknown, or to the erasure of a huge part of lived female experience.

By not talking about vaginas, you are denying women’s life experiences. You have to talk about Vagina.

Let’s start at the beginning: birth. Where are the paintings of birth in Western art? They don’t exist, prior to the 20th Century. This curious lack has been pointed out by the novelist and essayist Siri Hustvedt. “It is a stunning absence,” she says, adding that the suppression of gestation and birth has to be “related to the suppression of women and the fear of women.”

Yes, everyone has been scared of women all throughout human history, which is why women were oppressed. The lack of childbirth paintings is totally unrelated to the fact that maybe painters didn’t want to witness enough childbirths to accurately depict them, but even if it was because of that, that only proves this woman’s point.

You’re not watching videos of childbirth right now, right? Exactly.

It’s also surely to do with a religious tradition of painting where the female figure is a virgin: distaste for the visceral elements of reproduction have been coded into art right from the start… “It is an example of the vagina getting written out of a dominant cultural narrative,” agrees Emma EL Rees, Professor of English at the University of Chester.

As the author of The Vagina: A Literary and Cultural History, Rees literally wrote the book on the depiction of vaginas – and its chapter on birth shows that, even in modern times, public attitudes to seeing women’s private parts during childbirth are fraught.

Kinda like a Vagina Holocaust.

Still, compared to male genitalia, depictions of the vulva are pretty rare until the 20th Century. Of course, female sexual organs are more hidden compared than their masculine counterparts – and this, combined with the lack of non-sexualised discussion of, and language for, the female genitals seems to have had a real impact on the depictions that do exist. I was struck, reading Rees’s fascinating book, how many examples present the vagina either as autonomous – rebellious, or oddly divorced from its owner – or as a terrifying, dangerous thing.

One mythic image goes way back: the vagina dentata – a vagina armed with teeth, that damages or castrates the male. “It’s a myth that has a history and currency in cultures and civilisations that could not have communicated with each other: in the Indian subcontinent and in south America we get the same stories emerging, at a time when there wasn’t any transatlantic travel,” says Rees. She adds that in many of these myths “the fear of the unknown-ness of the vagina becomes a rationale for acts of extreme brutality – knocking the teeth out through rape or serious sexual assault.”

“Vagina dentata” is not a myth. Some women, like Chelsea Clinton, really do have teeth in their vaginas.

“What difference does it make?”

The liberation of women won’t be completed until every street, every classroom, every house and every public place has a Vagina Shrine on display for people to pray to.

Not having that is the same as denying women’s lived experiences.

Molly-Rose Taylor, 19, is one of the women with two vaginas mentioned in recent news.

News about women with more than one vagina is getting increasingly common nowadays.

Daily Mail:

A mother with two vaginas and two wombs defied the odds to give birth to a baby girl without her or doctors being aware of her unusual anatomy.

Elizabeth Amoaa, 36, from Walsall, West Midlands, was finally diagnosed with uterus didelphys in 2015 after enduring years of excruciating period pains.

From the age of 10 she had been in and out of hospital with stomach cramps and heavy bleeding – but doctors misdiagnosed her with uterine fibroids. Fibroids are noncancerous growths in the uterus which cause similar symptoms. They told her the condition meant she had little chance in becoming a mother.

But Mrs Amoaa, who is from Ghana but moved to UK from France in 2003, managed to become pregnant in 2010 with daughter Rashley.

She revealed doctors failed to spot she had two vaginas, two cervixes and two wombs throughout her pregnancy – despite carrying out tens of scans.

It can also happen to white women.

Daily Mail:

A teenager whose period pains were dismissed by doctors was shocked to discover she actually had two vaginas, wombs and cervixes.

Molly-Rose Taylor, 19, was only diagnosed with uterus didelphys, a rare condition which doubles the number of reproductive organs, two years ago.

Since the age of nine, the nanny complained of excruciating period pains. However, doctors failed to spot the 2cm-thick wall of tissue dividing her vagina.

Ms Taylor, from Gillingham in Kent, grew increasingly worried when the unbearable cramps caused her to become delirious and often faint.

And when she inserted a tampon to soak up the gush of blood, it would continue to pour out. Doctors later discovered this was because she had a second vagina.

Ms Taylor has since had an operation to remove the tissue dividing her two vaginas – but she has opted against any other procedures to treat her condition.

Sometimes both sets of organs work.

Daily Mail:

A woman who was told she may never become a mother after being born with two reproductive systems has given birth to a total of four children.

Lauren Cotter, 34, was diagnosed with uterus didelphys aged 16 following years of  agonising period pains.

The condition – which affects around one in 3,000 women – meant she was born with two uteruses, two cervixes and, in her case, two vaginas.

…

The mother carried all the girls in her right womb, while Harvey grew in her left.

One in 3,000 women have two vaginas? Going by the approximate number of people in the United States, there’s an excess of about 110,000 sets of female reproductive organs.

Women could make a lot of money selling those to men who want to “transition.”

Doctors could make a lot of money performing the surgeries.

That’s likely to happen in our degenerate “society.”

Now, despite being unlikely to happen, this is still worth asking: could these additional female reproductive organs be used outside of humans? Could we turn the second uterus of one of these women into a standalone baby-growing machine?

In any case, to answer these questions, we first have to answer if women should have more than one vagina.

Is it a plus? Is it disgusting?

What should be done about it?

Natalie Bricker and her husband Robert on their wedding day in 2007

This is kind of a Disney love story.

Daily Mail:

A woman who experiences excruciating pain during intercourse has revealed she only has sex with her husband once a year.

Natalie Bricker, 35, from Newark, Delaware, was diagnosed with persistent genital arousal disorder in 2018, a condition which causes her severe pelvic pain every time she is aroused.

The former care assistant, whose agonizing muscle spasms in her pelvis can last up to four days and leave her bedbound, now avoids sex with her husband Robert Bricker, 38.

These are more recent pictures of them:

See? They’re smiling. Very happy couple.

Natalie experiences spontaneous genital arousal at least once a day which causes painful spasms in her vaginal wall and rectum.

She has sex with her partner Robert, a real estate controller, just once a year despite the pain because she worries about the impact the condition has had on her marriage.

Natalie said: ‘Every time I feel pleasure or arousal, my muscles contract and spasm, and when I orgasm my pelvic muscles go into spasm.

‘Whenever I get aroused my body goes into fight or flight mode. The pain becomes worse and worse. It makes even walking painful. Afterwards I get so itchy.

‘It’s difficult because you feel aroused and you want to do something about it, but when you do the pain is so intense.

‘If I tried to masturbate, I would get sharp stabbing pains around my clitoris, and if I would try to walk I would be in so much pain. I would have to hold an ice bag down there.

She “experiences spontaneous genital arousal at least once a day” and each time, it hurts. But she has sex with her husband only once a year… because it hurts.

Something’s not quite adding up there.

‘My relationship with my husband has been difficult and I have a lot of insecurities. Because we don’t have intercourse often, I do have insecurities about whether or not he would cheat on me.

‘He’s a good man, he married me knowing the issues I have and the barriers that creates for sex.

‘We have sex once or twice a year, but I do it for my husband, I have to have a couple of drinks to get through it. It hurts, it feels like I’ve been hit by a truck.’

He should definitely cheat on her and on a daily basis. In fact, he should just go ahead and divorce her. There is no point in them staying married if they have no sex and no offspring.

Besides, if she really really really really loved him, she’d have sex with him every day no matter how painful it was for her. It is her duty as a wife.

Natalie believes her condition stems from a car accident in 2002, during which she she injured her pudendal nerve, which is responsible for carrying messages from the external genitalia.

Although she appeared uninjured, Natalie experienced recurrent thrush and sex with Robert, who was then her boyfriend, began to cause pain.

Natalie suffered with the condition’s symptoms for more than a decade before she was officially diagnosed with pudendal neuralgia in 2014.

She said: ‘I was involved in a car accident in 2002 where I believe all my issues began. I think I pinched a nerve and a month later I began suffering persistent urinary tract infections and intercourse started to hurt. I couldn’t do it without pain.

‘I could no longer even wear a tampon without pain.

‘I was in a relationship at the time with my boyfriend, who is now my husband. But after this accident, I couldn’t have intercourse which put pressure on my relationship with him.

That is supposed to be a very romantic, very inspiring “love” story of self-sacrifice or whatever.

It’s actually disgusting.

He knew what he was getting into yet he went ahead with it anyways. Now the woman is stressed out because he wants to have sex and they’re not having sex and he’s perpetually looking forward to his yearly dose of sex like a creep. Lose-lose situation.

‘My chronic pain has been progressive. Over the last four or five years it has become worse.

‘During that time my dog knocked me over onto my butt and I began experiencing rectal pains.

‘Now after every bowel movement I experience pain. I have seen many doctors about this. I have seen pelvic pain specialists to psychiatrists. It makes you feel really horrible when people suggest it is all in your mind.

‘I didn’t get officially diagnosed with PGAD until last year.’

In 2017, Natalie was forced to give up her career as a care assistant for people with special needs as she could no longer adequately manage her pain to get through the work day.

‘I was so fatigued and I would have intense pain every time I had a bowel movement,’ she said.

…

Natalie, who dreams of having a family with her supportive husband Robert, says her chronic condition has made their path to parenthood more difficult.

She added: ‘I always wanted children with my husband and have been through IVF. But my condition has meant it’s been more difficult. My husband has a condition also which means we can only conceive through IVF, but because I’ve been unwell we haven’t tried again.

Whoa, so they both have “conditions”? What are the odds?

The Daily Mail asked a labia specialist about vaginas, and the expert described 8 shapes that are considered normal.

Daily Mail:

A labia specialist has revealed eight totally normal ways a vagina can look – including having asymmetrical or enlarged inner lips.

Plastic surgeon Ben Khoda, from the UK, told how each month 250 people in the UK search for ‘is my vagina normal?’, and with the topic being something you wouldn’t bring up with your friends or family, many turn to the internet to give them answers.

Dangly or tightly tucked, wrinkled or smooth, thick or thin – the labia (or vaginal lips) come in all different shapes and sizes.

And like any of our beautiful body parts, the way the inner and outer labia (vagina) looks and feels is all part of our genetic makeup.

‘It’s a common misconception that vaginas should look a certain way but, this is not true at all,’ explained Ben, who works at The Hospital Group.

‘Just like the way in which the size, shape or girth of men’s private parts vary, so do women’s. The most common differences in the labia are the shape and size, however the thickness and colour of them varies too.’

These are the 8 shapes:

1. ASYMMETRICAL OR UNEVEN LIPS

2. CURVED OUTER LIPS

3. PROMINENT INNER LIPS

4. PROMINENT OUTER LIPS

5. LONG OUTER LIPS

6. SMALL OPEN LIPS

7. SMALL CLOSED LIPS

8. VISIBLE OR ENLARGED INNER LIPS

So… is YOUR vagina normal?

Let’s get some statistics on this.

If you’re a man, you can answer about your woman’s vagina.

Choose the option that best describes your vagina.

1. ASYMMETRICAL OR UNEVEN LIPS 2. CURVED OUTER LIPS 3. PROMINENT INNER LIPS 4. PROMINENT OUTER LIPS 5. LONG OUTER LIPS

6. SMALL OPEN LIPS 7. SMALL CLOSED LIPS 8. VISIBLE OR ENLARGED INNER LIPS Other

Created with QuizMaker

The labia expert also revealed an uncomfortable truth.

Khoda said: ‘You’ll be happy to know that every labia is a normal labia. However, some women have enlarged or uneven vaginal lips which may cause them physical or emotional discomfort, which they may recognise as “abnormal” compared to other women.’

‘If the size or shape of your labia is interfering with your everyday life or even reducing the quality of activities you enjoy, it’s time to think about whether you’d like an expert to take a look.’

‘This may be especially true if the appearance or feel of your labia has changed in recent years and you’d like your old labia back.’

…

Ben said: ‘Vaginal irritation can over time change the appearance of the labia, this can come from the clothes we wear every day to the type of exercise that we take.

‘It can also come from some more obvious but none the less important factors such as childbirth and sexual intercourse which can affect the way the vagina looks over time. These are are all totally normal and natural ways for the labia to change.

Yeah.

The shape of a woman’s vagina says a lot about her.

Tracy Cox, vagina expert

Are you the proud owner of an Original Goo Hole?

Do you sometimes wish your goo hole would go back to being as tight as it was back in the day?

Would you like to keep your goo hole clean and healthy to extend its useful life and increase the enjoyment you get out of it?

If the answer to any of the above questions is yes, then today’s your lucky day!

British sex expert Tracy Cox tells Daily Mail how to keep vaginas fit.

Daily Mail:

You don’t need expensive spa visits to stay in good shape. Here’s all you need to know to have a happy, healthy vagina – naturally.

THE SEXERCISE

Pelvic floor exercises don’t just produce a tight vagina, they increase sensitivity, boost sexual desire, intensify orgasm and can help you become multi-orgasmic. They also help reduce strain on your pelvic organs and improve bladder and bowel function.

Plenty of reasons to get squeezing!

First, find your PC muscle by stopping yourself peeing (try not to pull in your bottom or tummy at the same time).

Once you’ve isolated it, squeeze and contract, holding it for a few seconds, then release.

Start with repetitions of 25 and do two sets a day. It’s then a case of working up to around 50 repetitions, several times a day, but holding the squeeze for longer.

Repetitions and sets, just like the gym. No pain no gain. Gotta grow that pussy.

THINGS THAT ARE WORTH A TRY

Pelvic floor monitors or training kits

Kegel exercises get high tech with silicone trackers you insert into the vagina to measure the strength of your squeeze and chart progress.

This is something gynaecologists ARE happy to recommend.

Kegel ‘training kits’ include weighted kegel balls that you insert inside the vagina and squeeze around, ensuring you’re doing the exercises correctly.

…

You progress to heavier weights, as you move through the program, building pelvic floor strength as you go.

Kegel balls? Kettle bells?

Vaginas have to increase the weights they lift to progress in their fitness journey.

I’m telling you: just like the gym.

Period ‘cups’

These are an alternative to tampons and pads.

Made from soft material, you insert them inside the vagina to collect menstrual flow, emptying up a few times a day.

They’re perfectly safe to use, reusable and lots of women swear by them.

A good ‘green’ choice – and way cheaper than constantly forking out for tampons or pads.

Period cups are an abomination and contradict what she was previously suggesting. Having that thing inside for hours loosens vaginas.

Women who start using these things may think their vaginas are “just like they were before,” but they’re really not.

While we’re on the topic of insertion, a word on what is and isn’t safe to put inside.

THINGS YOU SHOULD NEVER INSERT

Chocolate syrup: Anything that has sugar in it changes the bacteria and yeast proportions that cause infections.

Whipped cream: Fine to have it licked off your nipples, buttocks and thighs but don’t put it inside the vagina.

Petroleum jelly (Vaseline) or baby oil: Again, it alters the pH balance and often leads to yeast infections.

Vegetables: The main problem is pesticides. So, if that carrot does catch your eye, you must wash it thoroughly first.

You also want to make sure whatever you put in, you can take out again. Things like peeled bananas are a problem because they’re difficult to remove.

Yeah, it’s fine to eat the pesticides, just don’t put them into your goo hole.

Also, never forget that women need to be told not to put chocolate syrup and peeled bananas in their vaginas.

An electric toothbrush: Use it on your clitoris if the vibration appeals but don’t put it inside. The vaginal tissue is delicate and the brush can cause tiny tears.

Spicy food: Why you’d want to insert a hot, red chilli is beyond me but just in case the idea appeals…Don’t. Hot foods irritate and can burn the vaginal tissue.

What do you mean why would I want to insert a hot red chilli in my vagina?

Why wouldn’t I?

If holes weren’t meant to be filled, they wouldn’t be empty!

THE SEX MOVES

How, when and how often you have sex strongly influences what shape your vagina is in.

It’s all about getting that pussy in shape, baby. Vaginal CrossFit.

Have sex regularly

The vagina is a closed muscular canal that extends from the vulva (the outside of the female genitals) to the neck of the uterus (cervix). Like the other muscles in our body, it needs exercise. Having sex – at least once a week – will keep your muscles toned and the vaginal walls flexible. If you don’t have a partner, masturbate a few times a week – to orgasm – to reap the same health benefits. Use a variety of masturbation techniques (fingers, vibrator) so you don’t become dependent on one type of stimulation.

Yes, if you want to go back to having the tight, youthful vagina you had before you became a slut, just double-down on The Whore Path!

There’s an Ancient Chinese Wisdom saying that roughly translates to: “Virgin bride pussy is best pussy, virgin bride pussy not exercised pussy. Best pussy is lazy pussy.”

This Goo Hole expert appears to think that virgin teenage women have the least toned vaginas ever due to their lifelong lack of adhering to a vaginal fitness regime.

Never have anal sex then vaginal sex

Change the condom or thoroughly clean his penis first. Bacteria from your anus does not belong in the vagina and ups the risk of infections.

Or just change the penis first!

Also, don’t tell me what does or doesn’t belong in my vagina!

My body, my choice.

Don’t expect to orgasm through penetration alone

Only 20 to 30 per cent of women can reach orgasm during intercourse without added clitoral stimulation. There’s nothing wrong with you, it’s biology. The clitoris is outside the vagina!

And in some parts of the world, the clitoris is even outside of your body!

There are a few things to remember here:

• Period cups are gross, but pads and tampons are gross too
• Women are supposed to be locked up and isolated when menstruating and to let the blood flow freely
• Women need to be told by experts not to put chocolate syrup and peeled bananas in their vaginas

Also: Women think that increasing the frequency with which they put things in their vaginas will make their vaginas be more like they were back when they didn’t put lots of things in their vaginas.