When she poops in the wrong bathroom.

The Internet often reveals uncanny wisdom where you least expect to find it.

Some woman posted on the “Am I the Asshole?” Reddit community to ask if she is an asshole for breaking THE ONE RULE her boyfriend didn’t want her to break.

From the Reddit post:

My boyfriend was my best friend growing up and he’s always showed OCD traits, but has never gotten a formal diagnosis. I am not being an armchair psychologist when I say he has OCD – pretty much everyone who has spent an extended amount of time with him has agreed that he has it. He is deathly afraid of germs and getting sick and even the word “vomit” makes him sick. I’ve tried encouraging him to get help but he puts it off.

He owns his own apartment which has two bathrooms. I stay there a few nights a week, but usually me staying there comes with rules. Most of the rules are easy to follow, usually simple things like shower before getting into his bed or leaving my shoes near the front the door.

However, the reason I’m posting about this, is he has a dumb rule. One bathroom is for peeing, and the other is for pooping. The bathroom in the masterbedroom is the one where we can pee, and the other is for poop. He says it’s because it puts him further away when he is in his room.

The other night I had came over after eating burritos, and woke up to the worst stomachache of my life. Suddenly I had to go, and I just skipped over to the masterbath to relieve myself and, of course, that included going number two. Somehow he had woken up while getting out of bed and he noticed I’d been there for a while. When I came out, he asked if I pooped, and when I said yes he got really frustrated and told me that was the one rule he really didn’t want me to break (it’s also where he keeps his toothbrush, and now claims he has to get a whole new one). I told him it was ridiculous and I really had to go, and he replied that it was his place and brought up the fact that I don’t pay the bills there. That part kind of hurt, because I am in-between jobs and he knows that.

Eventually I just packed my stuff up and went home where I can use the bathroom freely. I tried texting him about that night but he insists he wasn’t in the wrong somehow. Was I the asshole?

It certainly wouldn’t be very difficult for her to just poop in the designated pooping bathroom. She’s clearly not girlfriend material if she can’t even follow one arbitrary rule. This guy is a genius, and a gentleman. Women should be required to do things that make no sense as a test of their obedience. Like in the army, how they break recruits by ordering them to do completely useless shit just so they get used to the idea that “you do it because you are told to do it.”

When she fails The Poop Test.

I don’t know if every man can afford to have two bathrooms, but if he can, he should definitely use them to apply The Poop Test to girlfriend candidates just to see if they have the right mindset. If they fail The Poop Test, you can be pretty sure that they are one day going to be doing random bitch shit like putting rice in your casserole while cheating on your diet.

From another Reddit post:

Diet ideologies aside, I got upset with my wife when she put rice in our cabbage casserole. I’ve done a low carb diet for almost 8 months. I am down almost 60 pounds with only 10 more to go. She started at the same time but has cheated and hasn’t done as well, basically gaining back what she lost to start. I do most of the cooking and always provide for my kids carb options with my no carb meals. Example, I would cook a pot of rice separate from the casserole for them to eat, giving them the option to eat rice or not. I noticed the rice in the casserole and asked if she had a portion aside, ‘No, you will be fine, it won’t kill you.’ Well it didn’t sit well with me and I didn’t eat but made something else. I’m upset, she has been supportive but recently is making comments that I’m too skinny, I should stop. AITA?

Either they obey, or they don’t.

If Japanese soldiers can be ordered to disembowel themselves, a woman can be told where to poop.

Two dogs giving each other a pawshake.

You may already be aware that women share many similarities with dogs. Training one or the other is pretty much the same process, except that putting a collar and a leash on a woman is easier.

Now science says what anyone who interacted with dogs on a regular basis already knows: dogs mirror the emotional state of their owners.

Thing is, women do that too.

Daily Mail:

When dog owners go through a stressful period, they’re not alone in feeling the pressure — their dogs feel it too.

Dog owners experiencing long bouts of stress can transfer it to their dogs through their emotional bond, which appears to be strengthened by canine training.

Researchers measured the levels of the stress hormone cortisol in the hair of both dogs and their owners, and found that they changed shifted up and down in tandem.

…

Depression, excessive physical exercise and unemployment are just a few examples of stress that can influence the amount of cortisol found in your hair, said lead author Lina Roth.

…

Dr Roth thinks the owners are influencing the dogs rather than the other way around, because several human personality traits appear to affect canine cortisol levels, whereas the dog’s personality had no major effect on their long-term stress.

Engaging in arguments with women is like barking at your dog when he misbehaves.

Women are ruled by their emotions. They’re estrogen bombs that try to suck everything in when they go off.

If you lose your shit or engage them when that happens, you step into their world.

You step into Estrogen.

Don’t step into Estrogen. Stay on Testosterone.

What you can do to stop their barking is to pull them into your world. Pull them into Testosterone. Force your emotional state on them.

Tease them. Show them that they can’t ruin your mood. Mimic what they’re saying. Playfully mock them. Give them a look of amusement.

Don’t take them seriously.

After all, they’re just silly girls.

Most of the time that will be enough to disarm them.

But sometimes they’ll cry and that’s okay.

It’s a kind of weapon against men, this crying. They fundamentally understand that men are biologically evolved to want to protect women, because women have the eggs that produce the offspring, and they attempt to exploit that instinct with their tears.

Don’t ask her why she’s crying. Don’t ask what you can do to make her feel better.

Don’t say anything.

Turn your head away from her.

Stay cool.

Let her go away if she wants to go away.

Let her come to you.

She will then come back to reality – the reality you create for her – if you refuse to join hers.