At a time when every colored chap in the UK is stabbing Bongs with knives, you’ve got to admire the creativity of a man who chooses to use a hammer instead.

Metro:

Two commuters were ‘attacked with a hammer’ as they headed to work this morning, according to witnesses.

Onlookers said a man ‘whacked’ one of the victims with the tool ‘over a cigarette’ at Stratford tube station around 6am on Tuesday.

Officers rushed to the scene and arrested a 26-year-old man from East Ham on suspicion of causing actual bodily harm, common assault and possession of an offensive weapon, according to British Transport Police (BTP).

The first victim was hit in the head and is believed to have suffered a fractured shoulder.

A spokesperson for BTP told Metro.co.uk: ‘Shortly before 6am this morning, officers were called to Stratford station in east London after reports of two men assaulted by a man in the station concourse.

‘Both have been taken to hospital for treatment to non-life threatening injuries.

‘The first victim received a laceration to his head as well as a suspected fractured shoulder.

‘The second victim is being treated for minor bruising.’

The -steins and -bergs who teach at our universities love to suggest that Europe has magical soil, and that moving an African there will – almost overnight – transform him into a Shakespeare-reciting, opera-appreciating, pension-paying gentleman of the finest color.

But I’m not convinced.

I mean, if they really believed that, why would they smirk so Jewishly after saying it?

Daily Mail:

A Church of England vicar has apparently been caught on video inhaling from a crack pipe and discussing prostitutes.

Footage seems to show the Rev Stennett Kirby, a vicar in East London, snorting cocaine and saying: ‘I’m a very happy man’.

The 64-year-old priest was seen sitting on a sofa with a friend and apparently watching porn and talking about escorts, according to The Sun on Sunday.

Mr Kirby is the vicar of West Ham Parish Church in Stratford and has held the position since 2007.

The video reportedly shows him lighting up a pipe and separately snorting powdered cocaine.

He is said to have talked about paying for a female escort, saying: ‘I wish I could. If I had money, I would. I’ve only got £10 left.’

Mr Kirby also apparently discussed buying the legal drug poppers on a visit to Soho in central London.

Forgive me, father, but I must chuckle.

Not just because the notion of a black vicar in a quaint English parish is absurd, but because this story is a textbook example of “you can take the Wakandan out of Wakanda, but you can’t take Wakanda out of the Wakandan.”

Seriously, how often do you hear about traditional English parishioners smoking crack cocaine? And when it finally happens – color me surprised – it’s a shaved baboon in a cassock!

At a service this morning, the Rev Stephen Chandler, an associate minister at the church, broke the news to the congregation.

He said: ‘By now many of you may have heard of an article which has appeared online today concerning your vicar, the Revd Stennett Kirby.

‘I am trying to support Stennett pastorally at this demanding time for him and he is very much in my prayers and Bishop Stephen’s [of Chelmsford], as are you all here at All Saints.

…

Following the service a parishioner, who did not want to be named, said: ‘No-one would have known about this before the announcement.

‘Everyone is very shocked.’

Yes.

So shocking. So out of nowhere.

But hey, maybe I shouldn’t be too hard on Mr. Kirby. After all, this is what happens when a man is subjected to decades of brutal slavery. If those whip-cracking Bongs hadn’t forced him to pick cotton in the stifling Devonshire heat for the first 25 years of his life, perhaps he wouldn’t have fallen so far from grace.

A small apartment off the White Horse Pike is home to one of Stratford’s biggest mysteries, but Police Chief Ronald Morello aims to change that.

He has reopened the department’s only unsolved homicide, the 1973 murder of 20-year-old Linda Lepordo.

Lepordo was strangled at the Yorkshire Plaza Apartments, now known as the Woodmere Apartments. The petite Massachusetts native was found lying face up next to her bed in a sheer pink nightgown pulled up to her waist.

The killer also etched a misspelled racial slur onto her leg.

Authorities never made an arrest or identified a suspect, and the case went cold. But with help from the Camden County Prosecutor’s Office, police recently have uncovered new evidence and are seeking the public’s help, Morello said.

“We believe we have science on our side, but not time,” the chief added.

Authorities have yet to identify any suspects, but noted they have multiple persons of interest. Police even took a DNA sample from a local man, according to Morello, but the chief would not disclose his name due to the ongoing nature of the investigation.

Lepordo’s former boyfriend, Melvin “Doc” Pinkston, who is black, confirmed at his Magnolia home Thursday he has been targeted by police.

“It’s unfair,” Pinkston said.

The 64-year-old declined to comment further, saying he needed to talk with his attorney.

“Right now I need someone in my corner.”

It was Oct. 22, 1973, and Lepordo was a no-show at her job as a secretary with Murphy Trane Air Conditioning in Maple Shade.

That prompted her boss to call Stratford police.

“At about 10:50 in the morning, the Stratford Police Department responded to her home for a well-being check,” Morello recounted.

“After entering the apartment, they found Miss Lepordo dead within her bedroom.”

Though the apartment was sparsely furnished, John Hunsinger, a homicide detective with the Camden County Prosecutor’s Office, indicated there were signs of a struggle in the bedroom.

According to newspaper clippings from the time, police assumed Lepordo knew her killer and had let him in. There were bruises to her face and neck.

Authorities at the time also speculated she was killed the night before. Neighbors reportedly heard screams from her apartment unit on Oct. 21, according to previous news accounts.

“There was some talk that individuals did hear commotion that night in the apartment,” Hunsinger noted. “I know when detectives went to do the well-being check, the TV was still on in the apartment.”

Morello said Lepordo’s body was exhumed later in 1973 and additional evidence was gathered, but a suspect was never identified.

“The investigation continued for approximately two years, at which time the case went cold,” he added.

In our twisted modern world, it is no longer showing remorse that gets you mercy, but admitting the further crime of sodomy instead.

Daily Mail:

A violent father-of-two escaped deportation moments before being put on a plane to Jamaica – by suddenly declaring he was homosexual.

Alvin Brissett, 55, was ordered to be sent back to his Jamaican homeland after building up a long criminal record including thefts, drug possession, and assaults.

Yet at the last moment, while he was in handcuffs in a van at Gatwick airport, he announced that he was gay and claimed he could not be sent to Jamaica because he could face discrimination there.

This claim halted his deportation in its tracks.

And even though a hearing subsequently ruled it would have been lawful to send him home, as Home Secretary Theresa May wished, he has now won the right to remain.

Two immigration judges have ruled that his human right to a family life is more important than the Government’s wish to protect the public from him. Conservative MP Philip Davies said: ‘This case perfectly shows how the law is an ass. We must be a complete laughing stock.’

Asked about claims that he was not really gay, Brissett told The Sun: ‘I had a right.’

Mrs May spent thousands of pounds of public money to remove Brissett from Britain.

Brissett, of Stratford, East London, was 13 when he came to Britain. He has 18 convictions for theft, three for possession of drugs, and four for assault.

In 1993 he was jailed for seven years for robbery, and ten years ago he received a 12-month sentence for theft and threatening behaviour.

Then, in 2009, after he was jailed for a street attack, the Home Office ordered that he should be sent to Jamaica. Brissett immediately began using human rights laws – and his right to a family life – to contest the deportation, but all his appeals failed. In March 2011, Mrs May signed his deportation order.