This is so, so funny to me.

CNN:

Olympic medalist Ryan Lochte and three other US swimmers were safe and cooperating with police Sunday after being robbed at gunpoint in Rio de Janeiro, the U.S. Olympic Committee said.

One of the bandits reportedly put a gun to Lochte’s forehead.

Lochte and fellow swimmers Gunnar Bentz, Jack Conger and Jimmy Feigen had left a hospitality house hosted by France early Sunday in a taxi bound for the Olympic Village.

The vehicle was “stopped by individuals posing as armed police officers who demanded the athletes’ money and other personal belongings,” said USOC spokesman Patrick Sandusky.

Appearing on NBC, Lochte offered chilling details.

“We got pulled over, in the taxi, and these guys came out with a police badge, no lights, no nothing — just a police badge and they pulled us over,” Lochte told NBC. “They pulled out their guns, they told the other swimmers to get down on the ground — they got down on the ground. I refused, I was like we didn’t do anything wrong, so — I’m not getting down on the ground.

“And then the guy pulled out his gun, he cocked it, put it to my forehead and he said, ‘Get down,’ and I put my hands up, I was like ‘whatever.’ He took our money, he took my wallet — he left my cell phone, he left my credentials.”
“I think they’re all shaken up,” Lochte’s mother, Ileana Lochte, told USA Today.

Lochte released a statement thanking family, friends, and fans for their support.

“While it is true that my teammates and I were victims of a robbery early Sunday morning, what is most important is that we are safe and unharmed,” he said.

Everyone thinks Micheal Phelps is a pretty cool guy.

But then they find out his son’s name is “Boomer.”

Like Cincinnati Bengals quarterback Boomer Esiason, except that Boomer Esiason’s real name was “Norman Julius Esiason” (which is also sort of gross, I guess, probably), and “Boomer” was a nickname.

Norman Julius Esiason, master race confirmed.

Michael Phelps son’s birth certificate says “Boomer Phelps.”

Is nothing sacred anymore?

Also, the mother appears to be some kind of welfare-mongering burrito scarfer.

It appears then that Boomer and his spic mother have a serious problem on their hands.

But all of this brings us to the real question at hand:

Is Michael Phelps some sort of autistic retard?

The answer, of course, is a resounding “yes.”

I ain’t even trying to rain on yall’s parade.

I’m just sayin somethin done needed sayin.

Brown countries are such a joke.

Erebuddy be gitten robbed out der in da Rio.

Breitbart:

The latest high-profile victim of a violent robbery in Rio de Janeiro is Yevgeny Korotyshkin, an Olympic silver medalist and the president of the Moscow Swimming Federation. He joins Portugal’s Minister of Education and the head of security for the 2016 Olympic Games in having experienced a mugging while traveling between Olympic venues.

Korotyshkin posted about his robbery on the social media network Instagram. “This post is not about sports, but how they failed,” he wrote Wednesday. “Walk toward the Bar Astor in Ipanema, I was robbed. All is well with me, they separated from me amicably.”

Korotyshkin describes the incident as an “emotional story” and notes the amicable departure was due to him handing over all his valuables.

Ipanema is considered one of the more upscale and safe neighborhoods in Rio de Janeiro, though locals have recently increasingly protested that they no longer feel safe there.

Korotyshkin accompanied his message with an image of Brazilian youth holding firearms and smiling, which some media outlets have reported as an image of the robbers in question; it is actually a Los Angeles Times photo from a feature about Rio de Janeiro’s notorious favela slums.

Korotyshkin’s is the latest in a series of similar incidents. On Saturday, Tiago Brandão Rodrigues, Portugal’s education minister, was robbed at gunpoint leaving an Olympic cycling event. He did not lose any of his belongings, as locals tackled the robbers and detained them until police could arrive; one of the robbers had to be hospitalized after the incident, but Rodrigues escaped unscathed. Rodrigues described the incident as a “fright” but little more and asked observers not to judge the Olympics through the lens of this crime. Shortly before that attack, robbers targeted Felipe Seixas, the head of Olympics security. As Seixas traveled with undercover police, one robber was immediately shot and killed, while the rest sped away on bicycles. There has not been a report that the assailants have been caught.

Athletes, particularly foreigners, have been the target of robberies for weeks since their descent into Rio de Janeiro to train for the Olympics. Two Australian Paralympians were robbed at gunpoint while training weeks before the event. An international jiu-jitsu champion was abducted and forced to take money out of an ATM shortly after that incident; Jason Lee of New Zealand asserted that his kidnappers were members of the Military Police.

Jonas Junius just came to Brazil to find a better life for his fambly.

The disaster that is Rio 2016 continues!

This Olympic Village must have some HOT MAIDS!

Sky Sports:

Namibian boxer Jonas Junius has been arrested on suspicion of a sexual assault in the Olympic Village, Rio police have confirmed.

Junius, a light-welterweight who was due to fight Hassan Amzile in the first round on Thursday, has been detained after allegedly attempting to grab and kiss a maid

The alleged incident took place on Monday night and Junius, Namibia’s flag bearer at the opening ceremony of the Olympics on Friday night, was taken to the nearest police station in Recreio for questioning.

A statement on the Rio civil police’s official website said: “Recreio police said yesterday, August 7, that Jonas Junius was arrested.

“Jonas tried to grab and kiss a maid who managed to extricate herself. The incident occurred on the 11th floor of the hall in building two of the Olympic Village.”

The International Boxing Association (AIBA), amateur boxing’s world governing body, is aware of the incident.

A spokesman for AIBA said: “AIBA has taken note of the serious allegations towards a Namibian boxer who was due to compete at the Rio 2016 Olympic Games.

…

If charged, the suspect will be detained in Bangu prison, where Moroccan Hassan Saada has been held since Friday.

The Moroccan also attempted to rape some maids.

In funnier news, the US women’s soccer team was met with anti-gay chants.

Huffington Post:

It wasn’t just cheers that greeted several Olympic women’s soccer tournament players at the opening matches in Rio de Janeiro last week, but also blatant homophobia.

Three members of the U.S. Women’s National Team said a number of Brazilian spectators told them that fans were chanting “Zika,” a mocking reference to the viral pandemic, as well as “bicha,” which is apparently an anti-gay slur comparable to “faggot” and used toward men, the Los Angeles Times reports. The chant was allegedly heard during the U.S. team’s Aug. 3 victory over New Zealand, as well as the Australia vs. Canada match that same day.

The use of the slur is particularly distressing given the number of out players on those teams. U.S. midfielder Megan Rapinoe came out as a lesbian in 2012 in an Out magazine interview, while four players in the Australia vs. Canada match, including goalie Stephanie Labbé, have also publicly identified as LGBT, Outsports reports. Jill Ellis, who coaches the U.S. team, is also a lesbian.

In not so funny news – or should I say EVEN FUNNIER news – the White retards who went to Brazil like “we be botta wetch us da olampigs” are getting robbed left and right on the street in broad daylight.

Everyone be gits robbed out dis bitch.

What’s more, the locals are interrupting the events with their local monkey political nonsense that no one in the world even knows about, let alone cares about.

I guess they should have hired Whites to carry the stretcher!

Brown people fail even at that!

USA Today:

Tragic French gymnast Samir Ait Said suffered further indignity after his devastating leg injury on Saturday – Olympics staffers dropped his stretcher as they were loading him into an ambulance.

A worldwide audience was horrified when Ait Said’s left leg snapped as he landed a vault during the men’s qualifying competition, with the lower half of his shin dangling grotesquely after the bone audibly snapped.

His ordeal took another bad turn follow minutes later when he was removed from the auditorium to be rushed to a Rio hospital, where he remained late Saturday. As staff moved the 26-year-old’s stretcher towards the edge of the ambulance floor, they appeared to lose control, sending it falling heavily to the floor.

While Ait Said was little known in the United States before the incident that earned him the sympathy of millions, he is a popular figure in his homeland.

At least with a broken leg, Ait Said won’t be able to sexually assault the maids!

Or maybe he will???

Here’s the leg-break video (WARNING: IT’S INTENSE):

A “refugee” Olympic team has been formed to guilt White people into accepting more Negro and Arab filth in their lands.

The Russians have been banned from the Rio 2016 Olympic games but a group of so-called “refugees” will be allowed to compete. This has never happened before in the history of a games meant to be a friendly athletic competition between nations.

This whole concept is retarded. It is a poor attempt to guilt White people into accepting an unlimited number of savages into their lands. If these athletes were truly poor and disenfranchised “refugees”, they would not be in a position to compete in an athletics competition.

From UNHRC:

Since the modern Olympics began in 1896, over 200 national teams have vied for glory at the Summer and Winter Games. Now, for the first time, a team of refugees will compete as well.

At the 2016 Summer Games in Rio de Janiero, 10 refugee athletes from four countries will compete together as the Refugee Olympic Team. Among them are two swimmers, two judokas, a marathoner and five medium-distance runners.

Their athletic prowess and resilience is a tribute to the courage and perseverance of all refugees – at a time when the number of people displaced by violence and persecution is at the highest level since the Second World War.

The pools prepared for the swimming competitions.

The Brazilians are entirely equal to us in every way. The fact that they’re not capable of removing the human refuse from their water in time for the Olympic games is only some kind of weird stroke of bad luck.

It could have happened in Germany or Canada all the same.

The Independent:

Athletes competing in the 2016 Olympic Games in Brazil have been warned by doctors, engineers, and scientists to keep their mouths shut while participating in activities in the water.

Don’t be concerned about the Zika virus epidemic. You have much worse to be worried about.

Researchers found that many of the beaches in Rio de Janeiro have been long contaminated with raw sewage, household garbage, and even dead bodies, creating hazardous swimming conditions for the 500,000 people expected to descend on the city in August.

“Foreign athletes will literally be swimming in human crap, and they risk getting sick from all those microorganisms,” Rio paediatrician Dr Daniel Becker told the New York Times. “It’s sad but also worrisome.”

Worrisome indeed. Oh well, I guess there’s nothing we can do.

The Brazilian government had promised to clean the pathogen-infested Guanabara Bay in 2014, but those efforts failed.

Stelberto Soares, a municipal engineer who has worked on Rio sanitation issues for decades, said that the government’s efforts to clean the waters were superficial at best.

“They can try to block big items like sofas and dead bodies, but these rivers are pure sludge,” he said, “so the bacteria and viruses are going to just pass through.”

LOL!

They put up a sofa and corpse filter!

Good job guys. No, don’t worry about the rest of the crap. Your can rest now.

So, in principle, smaller items like dead rats or faeces can still get through.

“We just have to keep our mouths closed,” said 24-year-old Afrodite Zegers of the Dutch sailing team – one of the 10,000 athletes from 205 countries competing in Brazil.

Where is Alex Jones and his water filters when we need him?

The International Olympic Committee maintained that the waters where athletes will compete meet World Health Organisation safety standards.

The corpse-sludge meets safety standards, they say!

The Games will get underway amid a tumultuous time for the South American country. It is the veritable epicentre of the Zika virus global health crisis, higher crime, a massive police strike, and impeachment proceedings for former president Dilma Rousseff.

These Rio Olympics will be a complete disaster.

It’s going to be simply epic.

Athletes will be falling sick left and rights. There’s either be huge riots, or blood-curdling tales of police brutality in repressing them.

And the best part is that the liberal establishment is just going along with it, pretending as if nothing is wrong, in order to keep up the masquerade that Brazil is a first world country just like us.

Prepare to be entertained, my friends.

And, huh, if you intended to go yourself… Don’t forget your hazmat suit.

#ReadyForRio2016

A Brazilian man accused of stabbing a woman to death in a Rio suburb has confessed to have murdered 41 people, almost all of them women, “for the fun of it,” police said Thursday.

“He wanted to kill women — white women, not black ones. He followed the victims, studying them closely before committing the crimes,” said police commissioner Pedro Henrique Medina from the northern suburb of Nova Iguacu.

The man was identified as Sailson Jose das Gracas, a 26-year-old whom police describe as a psychopath.

They said they were checking his statements against past investigations, and so far they tally with the evidence.

Gracas says he murdered 37 women, three men and a two-year-old child over a nine-year killing spree, explaining he killed the child because he feared it would cry and attract neighbors’ attention.

“I observed them, I studied them. I waited for a month, sometimes a week, depending on the place. I tried to ascertain where they lived, what their families were like. I kept watch on their houses and then after a while went there at dawn, waited for my chance and entered,” broadcaster Globo’s G1 news portal quoted Gracas as saying.

He explained he started out as a petty thief.

“At 17, I killed the first woman and that gave me a buzz. I kept on doing it and I enjoyed it,” he said, adding on one occasion a couple, Cleusa Balbina and her former husband Jose Messias, contracted him to kill someone for money. The pair are now under arrest.

Gracas said he used a gun in contract killings but strangled his other victims.

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