Spoon-Bending Soviet Jew Asks Twitter for Help to Deflect Putin’s Nukes
Twitter didn’t help enough last time Okay, Jew – you can bend a spoon. But can you bend a nuclear-armed ICMB’s trajectory? Daily Star: Spoon bender Uri Geller has issued…
Germany Facing Toilet Paper Shortage Due to Putin’s Toilet Paper Hike
“Third worlders are actually more civilized than white people”: Exhibit #1 Morbillion Toilet paper is literally the most disgusting and unhygienic thing. Imagine: if someone pooped on your leg, would…
Ukraine Accuses Putin of Not Always Being Putin
Everyone would look at this story and say “this is like, Alex Jones type shit.” I think it is in the genre of Alex Jones, actually, but Alex Jones has…
Germany Says Putin’s Photo with Erdogan is a “Challenge” to NATO
You have to wonder what the hell NATO was thinking when they allowed Turkey to join. Well, you don’t really have to wonder – “what they were thinking” is self-explanatory.…
CIA Director Says Putin is “Too Healthy,” Rumors About Him Being Sick are a Hoax
He's too healthy – CIA director Burns on Putin's health There are many rumors about President Putin's health. But as far as we can tell, he's too healthy. This is…
Putin Meets With Iran and Turkey – All Vow to Unseat the Dollar as Global Reserve Currency
This is turning into a Guys and Dolls type situation. I really wish these people would cut my music numbers. I keep emailing Putin and the Ayatollah these song ideas,…
Russia Calls Up Swiss Newspaper to Inform Them That Their Memes are Garbage
I’ve seen people doubt Vladimir Putin’s religiosity. Personally, I’ve never really doubted it. When you’re in a position where life is hard, and stakes are high, you have to have…
UK Government Accuses Bernie Ecclestone of Doing a Half Billion Dollars in Fraud Just Days After Praising Putin
Previously: Former Head of Formula One Praises Classy Putin Imagine thinking an accusation of half a billion dollars in fraud coming just days after you praised Putin is a coincidence.…
Putin Gives Historic Speech, Calls Sanctions Stupid, Says Russia a Thousand-Year-Old Empire That Won’t Crack
Imagine living in a country that had national pride instead of pride in teaching gay anal fisting to preschoolers. New York Post: A combative Russian President Vladimir Putin accused an “arrogant” West…
Putin Calls Out US for Prolonging Conflict, Sending Rockets to Ukraine
The Americans have prolonged the war for months. But they’re really hitting diminishing returns at this point. New York Post: President Vladimir Putin warned the United States that Russia will…