America is supposed to be a first world country. And they tell you constantly that exporting the factories and importing the brown people hasn’t hurt the average American.

But somehow, $1,200 is a huge amount of money to the average American.

This is the equivalent of $172 in 1970s dollars.

Do you think $172 was a life-changing amount of money for boomers in 1970?

No, of course it wasn’t.

This nation is completely broke, and now that the stock market is collapsed, they can’t even lie to you about just how broke we are.

Anyway: give me money.

USA Today:

Negotiations continue in the Senate over a massive stimulus plan to blunt the economic effects of the coronavirus as the spread of the disease worsens and economic losses mount.

Washington, D.C. announced its first death from the disease on Friday, and nationwide, there are more than 260 deaths and over 19,600 confirmed cases.

Republican and Democratic senators reconvene at noon Saturday, extending marathon negotiations from Friday that did not result in a deal. Senate Majority Leader Mitch McConnell had set midnight Friday as the deadline for an agreement.

McConnell’s plan, which was released in full on Thursday, would, among other provisions, send direct payments of $1,200 to individuals and provide assistance to businesses affected by coronavirus.

McConnell, R-Ky., aims to pass the bill by Monday.

The boomers are the entire reason we shut down the nation in the first place. This virus doesn’t kill young people. It doesn’t really even kill very many boomers, we now know, but these people are scared to death of dying, because they want to be hip and cool and ride around on Harley-Davidsons for all of eternity.

Boomers should be made to pay for the economy collapsing.

And it should be a lot more than $1,200.

In fact, it should be a lot more than $120,000.

In fact, they should just have to give us all the money.

Or, the money printers should all be turned on full “brrrrrr,” until everyone is rich and the boomers can no longer lord over us with their stolen loot.

When I get that big money, I’m just going to be doing the same thing, sitting at my computer all day except when I go to the gym, but I’ll REALLY be sitting on my computer HARD.

Anyway, whatever.

This is what a white woman who works out looks like:

Along with that $1,200, it’s something you will probably never see.

FINALLY.

They’re going to give us free money.

Except it isn’t actually free, because it was all stolen from us in the first place, through taxes, through giving jobs and places in universities that belong to us to foreigners, through all types of different methods.

So I should say:

They’re going to give us back our own money.

The point is:

They’re going to give us money.

The Hill:

CNN contributor Andrew Yang, who made a universal basic income proposal the central issue of his former presidential campaign, said Tuesday that he had been in touch with the White House amid reports the administration is considering distributing checks to Americans to offset the economic impact of the coronavirus.

“I’m pleased to see the White House adopt our vision of putting money directly into the hands of hard-working Americans,” Yang said in a statement. “It’s unfortunate to see this development take place under the current circumstances, but this is exactly what Universal Basic Income is designed to do — offer a way to ensure that Americans can make ends meet when they need it most.”

My statement on the discussed stimulus package. My team has been in touch with the White House and we are offering resources. pic.twitter.com/Bi58oq7Q9V

— Andrew Yang🧢 (@AndrewYang) March 17, 2020

The proposal floated by Treasury Secretary Steven Mnuchin differs greatly from Yang’s, which would involve a regular flat payment of $1,000 to all American adults regardless of economic conditions.

The White House and Senate proposals would involve a total of between one and three checks that varied based on the recipient’s personal circumstances. The government disbursed similar payments during the 2001 and 2007-08 recessions.

“You can think of this as something like business interruption payments for the American workers,” Mnuchin told reporters at the White House on Tuesday.

Mnuchin said the White House is looking at “the next two weeks” in terms of a timetable.

Look, bro. I don’t have two weeks.

I need that money immediately.

Get a move on it!

Alas, at least Donald Trump isn’t the typical fat boomer retard, and is willing to give us this free money.

In fact, maybe he only let Coronavirus spread so out of control so he could gain an excuse to shut down work and let us all stay home and play video games while he sends us free money.

Truly, he is a great man, and a hero of this nation.

I knew it as soon as I met with him and said “bro me and my friends don’t have enough time to stay home and play video games,” and he was like:

https://t.co/oxFvP0FHlw pic.twitter.com/XXIBUcxARJ

— Mart 🇮🇪🇪🇸 (@martpunished) March 15, 2020

But Seriously Tho…

Though it isn’t exactly clear, I doubt this is actually going to happen, and if it does, it will probably only be for really poor people.

Mnuchin is saying “two weeks,” but the plan is still in really early stages of development.

Breitbart:

Mnuchin said that Americans could expect an individual stimulus within two weeks as he continued to negotiate with Congress.

He added that wealthy Americans would not get direct payments as they did not need it.

“I think it’s clear, we don’t need to send people who make millions of dollars a year checks, OK?” Mnuchin said to reporters. Trump agreed. “Obviously some people shouldn’t be getting checks for $1,000.

Mnuchin said that some of the reported funding numbers of $850 billion for a rescue were probably more expensive than the final bill would be, but that details would be released later in the day.

“This is stuff that needs to be done now, the president has instructed to me that this is no fault to American workers,” he said.

Trump said there were four different ways to get funding directly to Americans, and said that although he supported a payroll tax cut, he was looking at a better way to get funding to Americans faster.

“We want to do something much faster than that,” Trump said.

So, we’ll have to see.

I don’t really understand how the government can just let people starve or be evicted, but they are probably more likely to either give you food (crappy food) and just pay your landlord directly than they are to start handing out cash to people.

I do hope they hand out cash, of course.

But so far, nothing the Trump government has done has been what I’d hoped for, so I’ve stopped holding my breath.