I’m gonna assume by default that this was the work of diversity, but I do have to admit that a little chunk of me is hoping some of /ourguys/ did it and are currently trying to sell them to fund RAHOWA.

There are probably better ways to do this though.

The Local:

A German state museum with one of the biggest collection of baroque treasures in Europe has been raided by thieves, police said Monday, with media estimates of losses of up to a billion euros.

The Green Vault at Dresden’s Royal Palace, which is home to around 4,000 precious objects made of ivory, gold, silver and jewels, was broken into early Monday morning.

Police confirmed a “break-in at the Green Vault” and said the thieves were on the run.

How do they know they were running?

What if they’re walking?

Or biking?

The theft was described as the biggest art theft since World War Two.

Officials did not give an estimate but Bild newspaper reported that “antique jewellery worth around a billion euros has been stolen”.

Three jewellery sets of diamonds and rubies were stolen, director Marion Ackermann said, calling the haul “priceless”.

Ackermann refused to estimate the exact value of the items stolen from a display cabinet at the near 300-year-old Green Vault museum in Dresden, adding that the jewellery was of “inestimable cultural and historical value”.

…

One of 12 museums which make up the famous Dresden State Art Collections, the vault is split into a historic and a newer exhibition.

The historic section, which contains around three quarters of the museum’s treasures, was the one broken into on Monday.

Its treasures include a 63.8-centimetre figure of a Moor studded with emeralds and a 547.71-carat sapphire.

The theft is the second high-profile heist in Germany in recent years, after a 100kg, 24-carat giant gold coin was stolen from Berlin’s Bode Museum in 2017.

Fun fact: Those jewels aren’t actually worth much, because they can’t really sell them.

The problem with stealing stuff like this is that anyone who can actually afford to buy them wants to buy them to show off to people.

And you can’t do that with something stolen because, you know…

That’s why none of these thieves ever get what they were hoping to get, and instead these items end up sold to a pawn shop or just found in some rando’s attic decades later.

Imagine thinking that vomit is actually worth that much money

Since these are jewels they can sell the precious metals/gems in them, which is probably what the sandmonkeys who stole that giant gold coin did, but they’re not gonna get anywhere near a billion euros for them, and they’re probably gonna get considerably less than face value just because they’re stolen.

On the flipside, I think I’d like to steal one of these hundred-million dollar pieces of trash they call “modern art” just to set it on fire.

Now THAT would be a good reason to actually steal one of them.

Is there anything as romantic as busting out of jail?

You’re not a real man until you’ve busted out of a jail by crawling through ventilation ducts and disguised yourself as a guard to pass through security.

That, or until you beat Ikaruga on “hard” mode.

Prison break is way easier tbh.

My point is, busting out of jail is pretty badass. But soon, the prestige of pulling it off successfully will wane, as we enter a new Idiocracy-type situation where nothing works right, including prison security.

So, erm, if you’re gunning for those sweet jail break bragging rights, you better hurry, I guess.

Like this guy.

NBC News:

A convicted killer who disappeared from an Arkansas prison has been found hiding on its roof.

Arkansas Department of Corrections spokeswoman Dina Tyler said authorities found inmate Calvin Adams, 49, on Tuesday hiding underneath a large ventilation hood on the roof of the East Arkansas Regional Unit in Brickeys, about 110 miles east of Little Rock.

Tyler said Adams had apparently been hiding on the roof since he went missing early Monday. She says he managed to climb onto the roof but was stranded because there was nowhere else to go.

Damn.

Such a masterful plan, yet to be foiled at the last minute…

Those prison guards sure are clever, to think of preempting his escape by removing the teleportation array that connected the roof to the outside world. Or whatever this prisoner expected there to be on the roof.

Is that a common feature of prison roofs? I’m a bit out of the loop.

What a tragedy.

She says he will be moved to a maximum security area of the prison.

Adams is serving a life sentence without parole for a 1995 killing.

He also escaped from prison in 2009, Tyler previously confirmed.

He was confirmed missing Monday after a search of the 1,650-inmate prison.

On May 29, 2009, Adams and Jeffrey Grinder, both serving life without parole for capital murder, walked out of the Cummins Unit, southeast of Little Rock, wearing guard uniforms and drove away in a car that was left for them in the prison’s parking lot. They were arrested in New York state four days later.

Honestly, this makes me sick.

The guys actually pulled off their heist the first time, you know? And yet these pigs actually went and recaptured them?

Isn’t there some kind of gentlemen’s rule that once a prisoner pulls off the escape magnificently, that he’ll kind of just be let off or whatever? What’s with these cops? Do they have no sense of romance or adventure? We truly live in an age of darkness, where nothing is sacred anymore – not even prison break heists.

Ah, my childhood has been a lie…

If becoming Brazil means more Ocean’s 11 style heists happening from time to time, then I’m all for it.

RT:

It took a team of armed robbers disguised as cops less than 3 minutes to steal some $40mn worth of gold and other precious metals from a Sao Paulo airport terminal in a sophisticated heist that was captured by CCTV cameras.

Without firing a single shot, the gang of eight pulled off what has become Brazil’s third-largest robbery ever, worthy of the most sophisticated Hollywood scripts. The footage captured by a security camera shows the suspects arriving at the export depot of the cargo terminal of Brazil’s busiest airport in a black truck, resembling a federal police vehicle. 

The only reason that you can’t steal any gold in America is that all the gold in America belongs to the kikes.

In Brazil though, the people can occasionally rob banks and still get away with it. What America needs a lot more of are gangs of suave Hollywood celebrities willing to steal Jewish gold… someone get Mel Gibson on the line!

I say “Jewish gold” mind you, but we all know that they stole it from the goyim, so really it’s not theirs.

Mel would be justified in taking it and funding The Passion of the Christ II and III. Funny enough, the last people to try this were in the Aryan Republican Army.

Peak optics

But even though the Brazilians were clearly inspired by the Aryan Republican Army, it appears that the pupils have outdone the masters and that means we can no longer make fun of Brazil on the internet.

Four masked men jumped out and confronted the airport workers, forcing them to load 750 kilos of gold and precious metals valued at around $40 million and destined for Zurich, Switzerland and New York, USA, into their car.

The gang took two people hostage, but released them after abandoning the vehicles used in the robbery. As part of their getaway plan, the gang offloaded the precious cargo into a van and an ambulance and escaped in an unknown direction.

It occurs to me that if we’re going to have Multi-Kulti, we need to start importing masses of Brazilians who will rob banks and make the Jews cry.

Everything else in America is open to thieving and looting, but the Jews have their gold on lockdown in America.

And let me tell you something.

Robbing a bank is one of those secret get rich quick methods that the experts never tell you about. They tell you to skip the lattes and reuse paper towels, but never to start planning your next heist.

Scam artists the whole lot of them.

Now, clearly, any enterprising modern-day entrepreneur looking to pull a reverse Indiana Jones needs to take into account that no one in America has any money except Boomers and Jews.

You can raid a retirement home or you can pull one of these:

The way I see it, if we’re going to become Brazil in our lifetimes, we should at least be allowed to have some fun with it.

What a heist!

Seriously, they used a speed boat, just like in the movie!

BBC:

Police in Sweden have launched a manhunt after thieves swiped some of the country’s crown jewels from a cathedral and escaped by speedboat.

Two priceless crowns and an orb belonging to a 17th Century king and queen were taken at around midday on Tuesday in Strängnäs, near Stockholm.

Witnesses said they saw two men running from the cathedral, which was open to the public and hosting a lunch fair.

They were seen motoring off into Lake Malaren, and have not been seen since.

Police have launched a huge search operation, but currently have no suspects.

“It’s 1-0 to them right now,” police spokesperson Thomas Agnevik told Swedish media. “It is not possible to put an economic value on this, it is invaluable items of national interest.”

Now, let’s do a thought experiment.

Do you think that these guys can actually sell the crown jewels of a nation on the open market? The black market?

Idk.

I guess some rich millionaire could be approached and offered the jewels for a reasonable price as kind of a vanity purchase…that he’d never be able to show off to his friends because he’d face arrest.

No, clearly the men who rescued the jewels were actual patriots of Sweden who knew that the jewels were several years away from being captured by Moslems and smelted down to make minarets. The plans to blow up the Swedish parliament to make way for the Great Northern Mosque have already been made.

They will probably be voted on within the year in the Swedish parliament. The politicians will unanimously vote to abolish themselves, their parliament and their own nation right before they approve funds for the construction of said mosque.

There’s really no other explanation for this story other than patriotic Swedes trying to preserve their countries relics before either the Moslems or the cat-ladies get to them…no seriously, they’re smelting down their own history.

Just when you think Sweden has hit rock bottom.

Frankly, the Crown Jewels were not safe in the hands of the Swedish government.

I trust literal thieves more, because they don’t have a political agenda. They might actually realize that what they’ve got is valuable and worth preserving. At the very least, they’ve got the mercantile interest at play.

We need to get everything Swedish far far away from the Swedish government ASAP.

And we need to find the genius who masterminded this heist as well.

That’s the helicopter the Arab used to make his getaway.

France is apparently experimenting with new ways to make their country look more ridiculous to the world. Letting their criminals stage insane Hollywood-style prison breakout heists is as good a method as any to take the plunge into clown-world territory.

Though, letting one of their most wanted guy escape like this is kind of embarrassing.

You’d think they’d put someone like him in some kind of high-security prison. At least something helicopter proof.

NPR:

An infamous criminal managed to escape from prison on the outskirts of Paris after an “armed commando” landed a helicopter in the complex’s courtyard and whisked him away, France’s Ministry of Justice said on Sunday.

But perhaps the most unbelievable thing about Redoine Faid’s prison break is that it’s the second time he’s done it. He used explosives to escape from a different prison in 2013.

Lol, yeah. This is kind of ridiculous.

How do you even get explosives in prison? Did visitors bring him cakes full of TNT?

I guess they put him in a TNT-proof prison this time. So he escaped by helicopter instead.

Someone should really start working on making prisons immune to both helicopters AND TNT, instead of one or the other. I mean, you’d think those would be obvious things.

You’ll probably want to make them contortionist-proof too, while you’re at it.

According to Agence France-Presse, Faid has been sentenced to serve 25 years “for masterminding a May 2010 botched armed robbery, in which a policewoman was killed.”

The escape from the prison in Réau happened quickly – the Ministry of Justice says it “lasted only a few minutes.” Nobody was wounded or taken hostage, according to the authorities.

Reuters describes how the escape unfolded, citing security sources:

According to the sources, three armed gunmen arrived at the entrance of the prison demanding Faid’s release to create a diversion.

Simultaneously, a helicopter landed in the prison courtyard, which was not covered by any nets. Gunmen then took Faid from the visiting room where he was and fled in the helicopter, the sources said.

What a slimy looking rug merchant. I can’t believe the guards would let him out of their sights for even a second.

So I guess this is where we are, as a civilization, now. We can’t even keep notorious criminals in bars without them getting spirited away by helicopters.

I guess the French will quickly need to go back to their traditional method of getting rid of unwanted people, if they can’t hold them in cages.

Good luck heisting your way out of this one, Ahmed.

Raymond Staples, Monica Miller.

This heist seems too elaborate for the average dindu.

Is it possible they have contacts with Bain and the Payday crew?

Enid News:

Three people are in custody after they were arrested in connection with the armed robbery of a check-cashing business last week, Enid police are reporting.

At 10:46 a.m. Oct. 25, an armed robbery was reported at Check Into Cash, 2119 W. Garriott. During the robbery, a man forced the clerk at gunpoint to empty the cash drawer and then restrain herself with duct tape.

“Evidence was scarce, and there were no immediate leads until a citizen who lived in a nearby neighborhood contacted the police,” Enid Police Department Capt. Tim Jacobi said. “The citizen reported seeing strange activity that he believed may have been related to the robbery.”

On Wednesday, detectives served search warrants at two residences and for two vehicles that were at other locations in Enid.

At 402 S. Garfield, detectives arrested Cayla Hall, 22, and Monica Miller, 23, on complaints of possession of marijuana and drug paraphernalia based upon items found during the search.

“They also located duct tape and an article of clothing inside believed to have been worn by the robbery suspect,” Jacobi said.

During a subsequent interview, Miller admitted to taking part in the robbery, Jacobi said. She identified Raymond D. Staples Jr., 38, as the robber, and she confessed to conspiring with him to commit the robbery, acting as the getaway driver and receiving a portion of the proceeds from the robbery, Jacobi said.

Jacobi said further investigation found Staples and Miller may have been in the planning stages to commit other robberies.

These guy’s must have watched Point Break on a loop before this perfectly executed heist.

NWA Homepage:

According to police, two black men wearing bandanas, carrying a blue backpack and armed with handguns entered the bank and robbed it. They took off with an undisclosed amount of cash and were last seen running from the bank.

We wuz Ericson Core!

This is glorious.

I wonder why white men don’t ever do anything like this anymore?

And don’t give me some gobbledygook about “muh morals, muh not savage niggers, muh civilized society” – that’s a cowardly, pussy, bullshit excuse for the cowardly, pussy behavior of the modern heterosexual white male.

We live in a system which is designed for the express purpose of exterminating us, thus any form of fighting that system – including AMAZING HEISTS – is morally righteous. Period.

We don’t do stuff like this because we’ve had our balls cut off.

Which is why we explicitly need to bring back the ancient Aryan tradition of WHITE SHARIA.

And we need to do it quickly.

RT:

A group of up to 50 armed assailants laid siege to a police headquarters in Paraguay on Monday while stealing up to $40 million from a security firm. Four people were killed in what was dubbed the “robbery of the century” and subsequent police operations.

The gang, believed by police to include members of notorious Brazilian drug gang First Capital Command, targeted the headquarters of Prosegur, a security company specialising in the transportation of cash in the Paraguayan city of Ciudad del Este.

An explosive blew open the front of the facility, killing one policeman who was on guard, reported BBC Mundo. The gang then seized the contents of the firm’s vault, described by public prosecutor Denise Duarte as being full at the time. Police said the vault can hold $40 million in cash but the amount stolen has yet to be confirmed.

Duarte described the assailants as wearing masks and speaking Portuguese.

Police were prevented from responding when the gang stopped them exiting their headquarters with 19 cars, explosives, and a rocket launcher, engaging in a battle that left the security firm premises without help for two hours.

“The security firm’s premises has been destroyed and the attack caused chaos and terror in the city,” Justo Zacarias, the governor of surrounding Alto Parana state, told reporters.

Paraguay’s Interior Ministry tweeted images of the weapons used in the assault.

Heavy gunfire can be heard in video geo-located to Ciudad del Este and shared to social media at the time of the incident.

The gang are believed to have escaped using armoured trucks belonging to Prosegur before transferring to boats at the Parana river.

The Paraguayan Interior Ministry said that another confrontation occurred across the border in south-west Brazil in the municipality of Sao Miguel do Iguacu, hours after the siege at Ciudad del Este in Paraguay.

A joint operation between Paraguayan and Brazilian police killed three of the assailants and arrested four suspects, reported BBC.

“Three dead and four detainees,” the Interior Ministry tweeted, along with images of an armed member of the security forces standing over a man laying on the ground. The image is said to be taken in Sao Miguel do Iguacu.

Video from members of the public, geo-located to the same area, shows a similar scene along with a gathering crowd fleeing when gunfire is heard.

At least 12 people managed to escape police at a third confrontation in Itaipulandia, also on the Brazilian side of the border.

E hoje no @jornalnacional minha pacata cidade, virou cenas de terror pic.twitter.com/fWj3onnKUZ

— Édina (@tietedina) April 24, 2017

Nunca imaginei ver isso em minha pequena e "pacata" cidade..perseguição de bandidos causa mortes, apreensão de explosivos, carros, bandidos pic.twitter.com/g2YYZ3LbRX

— Édina (@tietedina) April 24, 2017

Obviously, I wouldn’t tell anyone to go out and do anything like this.

That would be retarded.

I’m just pointing out that no one is doing it – there are not men of our race with this kind of balls, and that says a lot about where we’re at.

My grandpa’s second cousins are two of only three men to have ever escaped from Alcatraz and not drown.

They were bank robbers.

Our men used to do stuff that was hardcore.

The main culprit in the removal of our balls has been feminism.

Feminism has not only caused women to act like men, it has caused men to act like women. In this “equality” mission, the Jews have mixed the two together, expecting them to meet in the middle as an androgynous type of emotionally unstable, irate, deracinated coward.

This is why so many people these days – men and women alike – are calling for a return of WHITE SHARIA.

Yeah, yeah, they do heists with machine guns. Sure. But do you even bother to consider the enrichment? What about all the restaurants and… you know… other ways they do the enrichment?

The Local:

Seven Swedish men have been charged for robbing a goldsmiths in Oslo last year in carefully planned heist which saw them speed away with 1.4m kroners worth of jewellery.

The gang, allegedly led by a 23-year-old Swedish citizen of Iranian origin, struck Sheikh Enterprises in Oslo’s immigrant-heavy Grønland district in broad daylight, keeping employees and customers at bay with an AK-47 machine gun.

According to Norwegian newspaper VG, four masked men stormed into the shop shouting “down”, “down”, then smashed the glass counters with crowbars, and began shovelling jewellery into their bags.

Moments afterwards, a fifth man arrives with the machine gun.

The group wore black balaclavas, ski goggles and identical uniforms of black trousers and black jackets.

They came prepared with protective gloves to avoid cutting their hands on the broken glass.

After the robbery, the men jumped into a black Audi with Swedish plates, which was waiting outside, and, after the shooting warning shots into the air from the weapon, sped away.

The five perpetrators were seized in Stockholm only three weeks after the robbery in a coordinated raid by Swedish and Norwegian police.

The trial of six Romanians accused of being behind one of the most spectacular art thefts ever begins in Bucharest on Tuesday amid fears that masterpieces by Monet, Picasso and Gauguin may have been burned and lost forever.

The mother of the main suspect told police she had destroyed the paintings by torching them in a stove, a statement she later retracted. The fate of the paintings remains unclear.

It took less than three minutes for the thieves to take seven masterpieces by some of the world’s most famous artists from the Kunsthal museum in the Dutch port of Rotterdam in the pre-dawn heist on October 16, 2012.

Among the paintings stolen and carried away in burlap sacks were Picasso’s “Tete d’Arlequin,” Monet’s “Waterloo Bridge” and “Femme Devant une Fenetre Ouverte, dite La Fiancee” by Paul Gauguin.

The total value of the haul, dubbed the “theft of the century,” was 18 million euros ($24 million) according to prosecutors, while art experts at the time of the heist had claimed the paintings were worth up to 100 million euros.

“The theft was carried out according to a meticulous plan,” prosecutors say in the indictment.

Identified by surveillance cameras, “the two responsible for the raid were Radu Dogaru, who was also the leader and the organiser of the criminal gang, and Adrian Procop,” the indictment says.

Procop, 21, is on the run and will be tried in absentia.

Dogaru, 29, was arrested in January in Romania along with two accomplices, Eugen Darie and Mihai Alexandru Bitu.

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