Si mi entierro no va a ser así, entonces no quiero morir. pic.twitter.com/asOPsmlAL2

— Cardona (@DavidCardona_5) September 13, 2020

I’m just going to tell you all now: you’re all invited to my funeral.

I want you to bring your biggest booty bitches, in the tightest imaginable jeans.

Illumi Naija:

A funeral ceremony in Ecuador took a strange turn when a woman jumped on top of a half-open coffin and started twerking.

Mobile phone footage taken by a spectator shows the young woman sitting astride the coffin and dancing to the reggae music. She made a number of sexual moves and even leaned into the open part of the coffin to blow a kiss as she twerked.

Mourners watched this display in the middle of a road in the city of Manta, in the province of Manabí, Ecuador, and filmed with their phones.

A large crowd of men are seen cheering in high spirits as the music blasts from a loudspeaker.

The video was shared on Twitter along with a caption: “If yo girl don’t do this at yo funeral is she really yo girl.”

According to El Universo, the deceased was identified as 38-year-old Marlon Mero Quijije.

He was shot three times in different parts of his body when he was walking in the neighbourhood of San Jose in Manta and was pronounced dead at the hospital.

Yep.

That’s the way I wanna go out.

They are just announcing that they are a monoparty.

Or were.

Mediaite:

John McCain was eulogized by two former presidents, along with members of his family at a memorial service at Washington National Cathedral on Saturday.

The stirring tributes to the Arizona senator, who died last week at 81, balanced remembrances of his life and legacy as a statesman, father and husband. But they also included obvious swipes at current President Donald Trump — who was not invited to the memorial and instead spent the morning golfing and tweeting — and his worldview.

Meghan McCain was up first, and the senator’s daughter delivered an emotional tribute to her father, that turned fiery as she took pointed shots at Trump, notably his campaign slogan.

A literal Hate Speech. Heh.

“The America of John McCain is generous and welcoming and bold. She is resourceful and confident and secure. She meets her responsibilities. She speaks quietly because she’s strong. America does not boast because she has no need to. The America of John McCain has no need to be made great again because America was always great.” she said, to applause.

Her speech kicked off with a swipe as well: “We gather here to mourn the passing of American greatness, the real thing, not cheap rhetoric from men who will never come near the sacrifice he gave so willingly, nor the opportunistic appropriation of those who live lives of comfort and privilege while he suffered and served.”

Couldn’t she have purged and lost weight for this event?

Following Blubber McNogarter, the Gay Nigger himself said a few words.

Followed by Double-Ya!

And it all took place at the National Cathedral in DC.

Some trivia for you: Woodrow Wilson wanted to start a tradition of burying presidents there a hundred years ago. And he wanted to make the Episcopal Church the semi-official church of America. Woodrow Wilson was also a cuck faggot Jew-lover and a sanctimonious windbag.

And now only pretentious failures get their eulogies read there. A proud tradition inadvertently started by Woodrow Wilson himself.

A fat chick, a gay nigger and a neo-con rube all on one team. The solidarity is touching!

All of them united in their opposition to Trump.

He might be the first man in history to be remembered less fondly than the tumor that killed him.

Nobody wants to have a bunch of people gloating over their deaths at their funeral. John McCain is no exception.

But here’s the thing: if he didn’t want people celebrating his agonizing death, maybe he shouldn’t have spent his entire life plotting to destroy America?

If McCain wants only people who will genuinely mourn him at his funeral, he probably needs to have it set in Israel.

NBC:

People close to Sen. John McCain have told the White House that the ailing Arizona Republican does not want President Donald Trump to attend his funeral and would like Vice President Mike Pence to come instead, a source close to McCain confirmed to NBC News.

I dunno, I bet Trump would make a killer speech. Though it would probably be more of a roast. Man, I’d pay a lot of money to see that.

You know Trump would just make this face during the entire ceremony.

McCain, 81, has been battling an aggressive form of brain cancer for nearly a year and is back home in Arizona after he underwent surgery last month for an intestinal infection.

The senator, the 2008 GOP presidential nominee, said in an audio excerpt this week of his forthcoming memoir, “I don’t know how much longer I’ll be here,” according to a clip aired by NPR.

When you know you could die at any moment, you need to live as if every day could be your last. For normal people, that means connecting with their families, putting their affairs in order and making peace with their Gods.

In McCain’s case, however, that meant putting his shilling into OVERDRIVE.

What a sick bastard.

The White House did not immediately return a request for comment.

Trump did not attend the recent funeral of former first lady Barbara Bush in Houston, Texas, in order “to avoid disruptions due to added security, and out of respect for the Bush Family and friends attending the service,” the White House said last month. First lady Melania Trump attended the service instead, along with former Presidents George H.W. Bush, George W. Bush, Bill Clinton and former first lady Hillary Clinton.

I bet the real reason is because he couldn’t find the right words to subtly humiliate the entire Bush family during the occasion. And also, because you just know the catering would suck.

We don’t want to eat your disgusting cucumber sandwiches and shitty burritos.

McTumor’s unnatural resilience to death is giving me a major case of blue balls here. It’s taking so long the reservations I made for the celebration party I’m organizing are expiring. Is the McCain family going to pay me damages for that? I bet they won’t even have the courtesy.

These people are the scum of the earth.

The traditionalist Society of St. Pius X offered to celebrate a funeral for convicted war criminal Erich Priebke after the Diocese of Rome said the service would be allowed only in a private home, but violent protests outside the chapel forced cancellation of the Mass.

Some 500 protesters had gathered Oct. 15 outside the SSPX district headquarters in Albano, south of Rome, when a hearse carrying Priebke’s body arrived. People shouted “murderer” and beat on the hearse.

Violence broke out after the arrival of a small group of people described by witnesses as neo-Nazis. Riot police intervened and two people were taken into custody, but the protesters remained and, according to Priebke’s lawyer, made it impossible for friends and relatives of the former Nazi SS officer to get to the chapel.

The lawyer, Paolo Giachini, told reporters outside the SSPX headquarters that the funeral Mass had not taken place, but that he had fulfilled his obligation to arrange a funeral. “Now it’s up to the authorities to decide what to do with the body,” since he was unable to find a city where Priebke could be buried.

Priebke died Oct. 11 at the age of 100. A former captain in the Nazi elite force known as the SS, he was convicted of carrying out a 1944 massacre of 335 Italian civilians in the Ardeatine Caves outside Rome. At the time of his death, he was serving his sentence under house arrest.

Priebke continued to claim he was only following orders when he took part in the Ardeatine Caves’ massacre and, shortly before he died, he affirmed his belief that the Holocaust was an invention.

The Diocese of Rome had refused Giachini’s request to allow a funeral to take place in a church or chapel.

In a statement issued Oct. 14, the diocese said, “Considering all the circumstances of the case, the ecclesial authorities believed that prayer for the deceased and entrusting him to the mercy of God — the aims of a religious funeral — should take place in the strictest privacy.”

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