This is genius.

Literally brilliant.

AP:

Avicii’s first posthumous single will be released next week and a full album will be out in June.

Collaborators of the Swedish DJ-producer say in a statement Friday that Avicii was close to completing his new album before he died last April in Muscat, Oman. His co-writers continued to work on the nearly finished songs and a new single, “SOS,” will drop on April 20.

The album, titled “TIM,” will be released on June 6.

Avicii’s team says since he died, “the family decided not to keep the music locked away — instead they wanted to share it with his fans all around the world.”

Proceeds from the album will benefit the Tim Bergling Foundation, which focuses on supporting people and organizations in the field of mental illness and suicide prevention. Tim Bergling was Avicii’s real name.

Since most artists’ sounds are made by a team of clever sound technicians, why should the death of a star slow down the process?

In the near future, artists will pass away and record companies will just keep on pumping out new tracks and new albums from the same artist and literally no one will notice.

They could even do the whole Tupac hologram thing for live shows.

Get the dead people’s holograms to perform on stage.

Because new generations are increasingly nostalgic for old music (or just for music that sounds older, like it was from a happier, healthier time) it would cater to their tastes more than anyone is ready to admit just yet.

But imagine this: entire concerts dedicated to seeing dead people play their greatest hits, along with some new ones.

Outlandish, I know.

First, the public needs to be primed by the idea of “Posthumous Albums” and then the idea of “Tribute Albums” – the logic being that this is what the artist would have written if he was alive, so this is really a nostalgia and feels and an honoring the memory of the guy thing.

Then they’ll just go full bore.

I can see the advertisements now: April 7th, 2049 at the Verizon Center! See Kurt Cobain’s hologram LIVE (sort of)! 

And they’ll obviously just start making tracks under the names of dead artists at some point. They’ll start making the living ones sign contracts saying that they’re cool with that very very soon.

I hate this piece of shit and news of his death was one of the happiest moments of my year thus far.

Suicide is a coward’s way out, just as making the world’s shittiest music is the coward’s way in.

But I gotta give the dude credit for doing it with a piece of broken glass.

That’s hardcore.

I guess for this hardcore form of suicide he deserves to have at his funeral like, 21 trannies throw glowsticks into the air.

Fox News:

Swedish EDM star Avicii used a broken glass bottle to commit suicide, TMZ reports.

Sources reportedly told the outlet that Avicii, whose real name was Tim Bergling, committed suicide by cutting himself with a shard of glass from a broken wine bottle.

The news of the 28-year-old’s cause of death comes after his family released a statement alluding to the fact that the DJ had intended to kill himself.

“Our beloved Tim was a seeker, a fragile artistic soul searching for answers to existential questions. An over-achieving perfectionist who traveled and worked hard at a pace that led to extreme stress,” read the statement, released Thursday. “When he stopped touring, he wanted to find a balance in life to be happy and be able to do what he loved most — music.”

…

According to TMZ, while some sources claim the fatal wound was inflicted on Avicii’s neck, another said it was the DJ’s wrist. Neither story has been confirmed.

We’re still waiting on an apology from his family, by the way.

They’re just going around laughing, yucking it up.

It has not been forthcoming.

Avicii’s music destroyed millions of people’s lives – and then he just dips out with a piece of broken glass and no one has to answer for it?

No.

It’s not right.

His parents need to go on a global apology tour.

It’s all over and it’s time to wake up and deal with the problems your evil son created, Avicii family.

Here’s the before and after pic of a girl who listened to “wake me up” on repeat for 2 weeks straight:

Here’s her poor sonovabitching boyfriend:

Someone needs to answer for this shit.

Good news, everyone.

Variety:

The family of Tim Bergling, the Swedish dance music star known as Avicii, who died on April 20 at age 28, have released a second statement, three days after their first. It is unclear what the message means, although it implies that he took his own life. A rep did not immediately reply to Variety‘s request for clarification, however the statement’s original wording in Swedish makes the implication more overt, one Swedish-speaking source says. A police report is expected in the coming days. The message reads:

Stockholm, 26 April 2018

Our beloved Tim was a seeker, a fragile artistic soul searching for answers to existential questions.

An over-achieving perfectionist who travelled and worked hard at a pace that led to extreme stress.

When he stopped touring, he wanted to find a balance in life to be happy and be able to do what he loved most – music.

He really struggled with thoughts about Meaning, Life, Happiness.

He could not go on any longer.

He wanted to find peace.

Tim was not made for the business machine he found himself in; he was a sensitive guy who loved his fans but shunned the spotlight.

Yeah yeah, blah blah blah – no one gives a shit.

I was hoping that Moslems had thrown him off a roof for those songs he made, which destroyed so many people’s lives.

But the important thing is that he’s dead.

And these songs have stopped.

Normally I Would Say

In this situation I would normally give the kids a PSA about how getting unlimited amounts of pussy doesn’t lead to happiness, as is generally the theory of young men.

But this guy appears to have killed himself simply because he was a pussy faggot who couldn’t deal with life.

He was only 28 and wasn’t even taking advantage of the infinity pussy option – he had a kike girlfriend.

A literal Goldberg kike.

So yeah anyway, giving that PSA in relation to this story might be a little bit dishonest.

It is still true – infinity pussy does not bring joy and personal fulfillment – but it just doesn’t really apply here.

A better lesson here is that you need to do something meaningful with your life, to not be a faggot pussy bitchboy, to not make gay songs for women that destroy men’s lives.

You need to work to change the world for the better, so that your life and your limited existence here has an impact on the nature of reality after you are dead.

If you’re going to hurt people, rape or murder them – don’t destroy their souls with terrible EDM.

Rot in hell, Avicii.

And I just want to give Avicii’s family a special message: you should all kill yourselves as well.

We should try to get the phone numbers of his parents so we can call them and demand an apology for these songs.

Seriously – “wake me up when its all over” was the worst, worst, worst, worst fucking song that has EVER BEEN MADE.

But for at least one year solid, if you wanted to engage in a sexual act with a woman, you had to listen to it not less than FIFTEEN TIMES IN ONE NIGHT.

That’s really honestly what got me on the “hookers only” train as much as anything else. More than anything else. That fucking “wake me up when I’m wiser and older” song.

So I guess for that I can thank you, Avicii. As hookers are the truly logical course.

Nonetheless, his family does need to issue an official apology.

Like, they need to release an Iran hostage style video of them just begging every man in the world forgiveness for having given birth to this person.

It’s about goddamn time.

I’ve been waiting for this piece of shit to die since 2013.

Irish Times:

Swedish DJ and electronic dance music producer Avicii has been found dead in Muscat, Oman. He was 28.

No cause of death has been given.

His representative said in a statement: “It is with profound sorrow that we announce the loss of Tim Bergling, also known as Avicii.

“He was found dead in Muscat, Oman, this Friday afternoon local time, April 20.

“The family is devastated and we ask everyone to please respect their need for privacy in this difficult time. No further statements will be given.”

His death comes days after he was nominated for a Billboard Music Award for top dance/electronic album.

I don’t know where Oman is and I don’t give anything close to enough of a fuck to Google it.

I assume it is some nigger shithole which has done absolutely nothing of value, ever.

Well, that losing streak just ended, Oman: you just did a great thing.

You killed that Sweden fuck who made that song I hate.

I just realized he made that other song that I hate the most.

Wow, Oman.

From now it’s gonna be “oh man, what a great country – they killed that Sweden fuck and kept him from making any more of these songs that women make you listen to over and over while you’re trying to have sex with them.”

A round of applause.

How many lives have been saved by this one shitty Swede dying?

How many people would have been driven to suicide by future songs he was going to make?

The cause of death isn’t given, I guess we can assume “drugs.” But I do have hope that he got caught sucking on a dick and the hajis went ahead and gave him “Allah’s Rooftop Ride.”

Or they just decided to throw him off a roof because his music was convicted of making people gay.

I think we should protest his funeral.

With rotting fruit and k-pop.

Here’s a real song to celebrate his timely demise.