Hollywood Movies Should Show Cows Melting People with Their Farts, Researchers Say
People don’t know that if they don’t stop eating meat, start driving Teslas, and really pay a whole lot of tax to the government, they’re about to be melting out…
In Speech to “Donors in New York,” Trump Vows to Deport Pro-Palestine Students to Protect Jews from Criticism
Donald Trump is deporting foreign pro-Palestinian protesters on college campuses, the Washington Post reports. If elected president, Trump wants to exclude foreign students who come to the country with a…
New York Democrat Declares Military Recruitment Failure is “Deeply Problematic as a Democracy”
You can die in the military. It’s not as dangerous as being a logger. But loggers believe in what they’re doing. People need logs. Who believes in what the US…
Watch: Airbus Plane Engine Catches Fire at O’Hare! Fire on the Dance Floor! Fire at the Taco Bell!
A United flight to Seattle-Tacoma International Airport aborted takeoff from Chicago O’Hare International Airport on Monday after an engine caught fire, the FAA says. The airline said the plane, an…
Florida: Town in Crisis After Two Separate Attacks on Anal Crosswalk
Don’t tread on my anus. (Sorry, that’s the best I’ve got right now, guys.) The Post Millennial: Police are investigating after drivers left tire marks on a Pride crosswalk in…
Watch: Dark Figure Unleashes Gunshot Storm with Assault Rifle on Suburban Florida Street
#News: We received notice from concerned residents in Miami Gardens after an individual fired off over 100 rounds from a high power rifle last night. The incident reportedly took place…
US and Europe Considering Mass Vaccination of Chickens and Dairy Workers Against Bird Flu
Oh, so I guess we’re already doing this, huh? New York Post: The United States and Europe are taking steps to acquire or manufacture H5N1 bird flu vaccines that could…
Maybe the Bear Wouldn’t Have Been Messing with the Kid If He Didn’t Look Like Such a Pussy?
Bro, if you go around looking like you should be messed with, bears are going to start messing with you. How about man up, pussy? New York Post: A black…
Virginia: Tech Company Fined for Wanting to Hire Only Whites
Why would anyone hire someone who isn’t white? What are you supposed to hire? Niggers? What is even being suggested here? CBS News: A Virginia company’s job listing inviting only…
Responding to Polish Retard, Medvedev Says Fatmerican Plan to Attack Russian Targets Would Trigger World War
Polish Foreign Minister Radoslaw Sikorski: would you buy insurance from this dweeb? Would you trust him to lead the Frieza Force? Fatmericans are not even aware that their government is…