NEW YORK (AP) — The highly anticipated press conference for Andrew Anglin’s upcoming satirical novel The Wolf Man of Washington took an unexpected turn Tuesday when the author—whose newfound literary relevance follows a mysterious 2025 boating accident—abruptly pivoted from discussing his book to launching a scathing tirade against Nintendo, calling the company’s pricing practices “worse than Israel’s genocide in Gaza.”

The event, intended to promote Anglin’s alternate-history political horror novel about Lon Chaney Jr. as George W. Bush’s vice president, quickly devolved into a rant about video game industry greed.

“$50 for the Metal Gear Solid Trilogy? And They Didn’t Even Fix the Aspect Ratio?”

Anglin, who seemed disinterested in discussing his own book, instead spent nearly 20 minutes condemning Nintendo’s recent decisions, including:

• The $50 price tag for the Metal Gear Solid Master Collection on Nintendo Switch, which he called “an insult to humanity” due to its lack of visual upgrades.

• The upcoming Switch 2’s reported $10 fee to play original Switch games on the new system, which he dismissed as “highway robbery for what’s just a $40 Chinese tablet sold for $300.”

• Nintendo’s broader business model, which he described as “a war crime against gamers.”

“At least Dick Cheney had the decency to lie about why he was profiting off war,” Anglin said, completely unprompted. “Nintendo doesn’t even bother. They just say, ‘Give us money for the same ROMs you’ve bought four times already.’”

Journalists Attempt—And Fail—To Steer Conversation Back to the Book

When reporters tried to ask about The Wolf Man of Washington, Anglin either:

• Ignored the question entirely.

• Gave a nonsensical answer (e.g., “The Wolf Man represents the working class, just like Snake in MGS2.”).

• Doubled down on his Nintendo outrage (“You think my book is dystopian? Try paying $60 for a Wii U port in 2025.”).

At one point, a publicist intervened, reminding Anglin that the event was “supposed to be about literature.” His response? “Literature is dead. Nintendo killed it.”

A Bizarre But On-Brand Moment for Anglin

The outburst aligns with Anglin’s post-accident persona—a mix of dark satire, conspiracy-adjacent rants, and sudden hyperfixations (last month, he live-tweeted a 12-hour rant about Disney’s Atlantis: The Lost Empire).

Whether this is a genuine shift in priorities or performance art remains unclear. What is clear? No one left the press conference talking about his book.

Nintendo Responds (Sort Of)

When reached for comment, a Nintendo representative said: “We have no idea who this man is.”

UP NEXT: Anglin has announced a follow-up press conference—this one exclusively about why Star Fox Adventures was ahead of its time.

MORE FROM AP:

• The Wolf Man of Washington: A Novel That May Never Be Discussed Again

• Nintendo Fans React: “We Kind of Agree With Him?”

• Is Andrew Anglin the New Hunter S. Thompson—Or Just Unwell?

Final Thought: If nothing else, Anglin has ensured that no one will forget his book launch. Even if they still don’t know what the book is about.

# # #

EDITOR’S NOTE: This article has been updated to reflect that no, we still don’t understand what’s happening either.

From The New York Times Book Review

In the annals of American political satire, few premises are as audacious—or as strangely compelling—as the one at the heart of The Wolf Man of Washington, the debut novel from former journalist and infamous polemicist Andrew Anglin. Having obtained an early manuscript, I’ve read the first three chapters. The result? Equal parts fascination, bafflement, and reluctant admiration.

Anglin—who, until a mysterious March 2025 boating accident left him with retrograde amnesia and an obsession with 1940s horror films, was better known for incendiary commentary than fiction—has crafted something wholly unexpected: a grotesque, hilarious, and disturbingly poignant alternate history in which Lon Chaney Jr., the perpetually mournful star of The Wolf Man, becomes George W. Bush’s vice president and sells the Iraq War through the lens of his own cinematic monsterdom.

A Surreal, Savage Satire

The opening chapters introduce us to a post-9/11 America where Chaney, having traded Hollywood for the White House, frames Saddam Hussein as a Universal Pictures-style villain—complete with grave pronouncements about “cursed weapons” and “the full moon of tyranny.” Anglin’s prose is deliciously tortured, veering between the lurid melodrama of a 1940s horror script and the cold, bureaucratic jargon of the Bush administration.

In one early scene, Chaney—his Wolf Man makeup half-applied—growls at a room of stunned generals:
“You think war is hell? Try being trapped in a man’s body when the Pentagon Wolf howls!”

Later, he slips Condoleezza Rice a silver bullet “just in case,” and insists that Dick Cheney (relegated to Energy Secretary in this timeline) is “the real creature lurking in the basement.”

It’s absurd, grotesque, and yet—somehow—eerily plausible.

The Perplexing Author Behind the Curtain

The bigger mystery, of course, is Anglin himself. Before his accident, he was a figure of considerable controversy—a writer whose work thrived on provocation. Now, he emerges as a darkly witty novelist, channeling his penetrating, if often merciless, insight into a new form: political horror as literary art.

Is this reinvention genuine? A calculated pivot? Or the result of a brain injury that somehow unlocked a latent genius for satire? The book offers no answers—only a story so bizarre it demands to be read.

Early Verdict

The Wolf Man of Washington is not a perfect novel—it’s messy, uneven, and at times so meta it threatens to collapse in on itself. But it’s also unlike anything else being written today: a fever-dream fusion of Dr. Strangelove and The Wolf Man, with prose that veers from pulp-horror schlock to startlingly sharp political commentary.

Will it be a cult classic? A career-killing misfire? Too soon to say. But one thing’s certain: You’ve never read a book like this before.

MORE TO COME: Full review to follow upon the book’s release.

CHICAGO, IL—Hollywood’s favorite sensitive artiste Timothée Chalamet found himself in deep, deep trouble this week after being mistakenly added to the “Rollin’ 60s Crips” group chat—and emerging with the explosive hot take that “Black people in Chicago hate gays.”

• Chicago activists FURIOUS, pointing out South Side LGBTQ+ organizers who’ve been shot at for their work
• Black Twitter erupts: “White gays will use us as a stepping stone to conservatism” trends
• Trump Jr. tweets: “Welcome to the team, Timmy! Next stop: CPAC keynote?”

THE “TRUMP EFFECT” OBSERVED

Pundits note this is the first time a major liberal star has:

• Casually slandered Black people
• Gotten applause from conservatives
• Still kept his Vogue cover

CHALAMET’S DAMAGE CONTROL

His publicist released: “Timothée was deeply moved by his brief time in the struggle. He looks forward to portraying it in his next indie film.”

BLACK RIFLE COFFEE SEES AN OPENING

“Tired of fake allies? Drink coffee roasted with real American values.”

New “Based & Blackpilled” blend—so bold it makes Hollywood Marxists cry.

PAID PROMOTION: Weak men virtue signal. Legends drink Black Rifle Coffee and say what everyone’s thinking.

Use code “CULTURECRITIC” for 15% off—because some truths should hurt.

#TimmyTruthedOut #ChicagoControversy #CoffeeOverComplaining

WASHINGTON, D.C.—A highly classified group chat belonging to Secretary of State Marco Rubio has been blown wide open—revealing the top diplomat’s secret all-male, invitation-only foam parties after TikTok’s The Rizzler was accidentally added to the thread.

The chat, titled “Diplomatic Immunity Fitness Club”, exposed Rubio’s double life as DC’s most discreet—and shredded—party host. Leaked messages detail steamy gatherings featuring:

• Oil-slicked shirtless volleyball at undisclosed embassies
• Foam wrestling tournaments with foreign dignitaries
• Strict “no sugar, no carbs” rules—guests caught with dessert banned for life

“This isn’t just a party—it’s an underground fitness cult,” said one insider. “Marco runs these like SEAL training… if SEALs had DJs, strobe lights, and a strict ‘no women’ policy.”

The Rizzler—no stranger to elite clout—immediately hijacked the chat, posting: “Damn Marco, you’re jacked. What’s your macro split?” before dropping a shirtless gym selfie.

FITNESS GURUS STUNNED

Photos show Rubio glazed in foam but ripped like a Marvel hero, sparking global speculation about his workout routine. “This is the leanest Cabinet in history,” tweeted Dr. Peter Attia. “No sugar, just gains and gay agenda.”

PAID PROMOTION: Sugar is for weak diplomats. David’s Protein Bars—zero sugar, 20g pure whey, gay agenda-approved—fuel America’s hottest (literally) leaders. 🇺🇸 Use code “FOAMGATE” for 20% off. Stay lean, stay mean, stay… whatever this is. 💦🔥

#NoCarbsNoProblems #ProteinGayAgenda #RizzlerEndorsed

NEWTOWN, CT—In a plot twist even QAnon couldn’t predict, conspiracy king Alex Jones was accidentally added to a private group chat of the supposed “Sandy Hook victims”—who, it turns out, are not only alive, but thriving, gossiping about HBO’s The White Lotus, and documenting their scandalous sex lives in shocking detail.

HOW IT HAPPENED:

A typo in a Signal invite led Jones straight into the “Newtown 26 – Still Here, Still Fabulous” chat, where he was immediately met with:

• Selfies from “dead” children—now grown, tan, and sipping martinis in Ibiza
• Graphic hookup stories from parents supposedly “grieving” their lost kids
• Fervent debates about whether The Rizzler “is starting to look hot”

JONES’ MELTDOWN:

The Infowars host, confronted with irrefutable proof the shooting wasn’t faked, could only respond: “Okay but… why do all of you have OnlyFans?”

CHAT HIGHLIGHTS:

• “LOL remember when Alex said we were crisis actors? Babe, I wish I got SAG rates.”
• “My ‘ghost’ just got railed in a Vegas suite by an NFL player. Thoughts?”
• “If Tanya actually died in Season 2, why is Jennifer Coolidge still booking roles? CHECKMATE, LIBERALS.”

THE FALLOUT:

• Jones’ lawyers immediately filed a motion
• Trump Jr. tweets: “This is what happens when the deep state runs out of crisis actors and just lets them live their lives.”
• Sandy Hook “victims” announce a group trip to Epstein Island (“For the vibes”)

BLACK RIFLE COFFEE RESPONDS:

“Crisis actors drink soy lattes. Patriots drink BRCC.”

New “False Flag Free” blend—so real it comes with a notarized birth certificate.

PAID PROMOTION: Sheeple believe the media. Legends drink Black Rifle Coffee and trust nothing (except this caffeine).

Use code “WAKEUP” for 10% off—because some conspiracies should be true.

#AlexJonesExposed #SandyHookSurvivors #CoffeeOverCrisisActing

KAME HOUSE, EARTH—The Dragon Ball universe was thrown into madness this week when a dimensional glitch accidentally added Pikachu to Goku’s elite “Z-Fighter Battle Plans” group chat—leading to the most unexpected crossover disaster in anime history.

WHAT WENT DOWN IN THE CHAT:

• Pikachu spammed Thunderbolt GIFs, short-circuiting Bulma’s Scouter servers
• Vegeta raged after Pikachu called him “a grumpy purple cat” (compared to Meowth)
• Goku tried to fight Pikachu through the phone, asking “Wait, does this count as a real battle?”
• Piccolo demanded a “who would win” poll, then lost to Pikachu 87%-13%

SENSU BEAN MARKET CRASHES

The fallout was instant:

• Frieza posted “😂👏”—his first-ever emoji usage
• Trunks and Goten challenged Pikachu to a Poké Ball capture battle
• Shenron’s group chat status changed to “😐…just fix this.”

POLL: FANS PREFER CELL GAMES TO THIS

A shocking fan survey revealed:

• 92% of Saiyans would rather fight Broly again than deal with Pikachu’s “cheery battle cries”
• Ash Ketchum trending after posting “Pikachu, return… PLEASE.”
• Whis quietly left the chat, status updated to “Vacation Mode: Universe 6”

PIKACHU’S FINAL MESSAGE?

Before being banished back to Pokémon world, the mouse dropped:

“pika pika 🥊⚡” (Translation: “Y’all need a Thunderbolt to wake up.”)

“Tired of weak anime rivals? Drink coffee with real power levels.”

New “Kamehameha Blend”—so strong it makes Super Saiyan hair stand up.

PAID PROMOTION: Weak fighters rely on Dragon Balls. Legends drink Black Rifle Coffee and handle their own resurrections.

Use code “OVER9000” for 20% off—because some battles shouldn’t need wishes.

#PikaPanic #GokuVsPika #CoffeeBeatsKi

WASHINGTON, D.C.—Defense Secretary Pete Hegseth is embroiled in a bombshell harassment scandal after bombarding The Atlantic’s Jeffrey Goldberg with graphic images and abusive messages – all stemming from Goldberg’s accidental inclusion in a top-secret Yemen war planning chat.

The shocking breach occurred when Goldberg, America’s most respected national security journalist, was mistakenly added to a high-level Pentagon strategy session. But the real scandal erupted after Goldberg’s removal, when the nation’s top defense official began a relentless campaign of harassment against the journalist.

“Secretary Hegseth started flooding my phone with vile memes, pornographic content, and threatening emoji combinations,” Goldberg told colleagues. “This wasn’t just unprofessional – it was an abuse of power from the man who controls our nuclear codes.”

Insiders describe increasingly disturbing messages from the Pentagon’s highest office:

• 3 AM dick pic blasts captioned “PRESS SECRETARY”
• Classified memes doctored with Goldberg’s face
• Hundreds of eggplant/peach emojis after every Atlantic article

NATIONAL SECURITY EXPERTS HORRIFIED

“This goes beyond harassment – it’s a counterintelligence nightmare,” warned former CIA Director John Brennan. “Our enemies are laughing their asses off that the SecDef behaves like a drunk Twitch streamer.”

WHITE HOUSE IN DAMAGE CONTROL

President Trump Jr. initially defended his Pentagon chief: “Pete’s just owning the libs in his own special way.” But after seeing the messages, even Fox & Friends hosts were stunned silent.

PAID PROMOTION: Weak men like Goldberg need safe spaces. Real warriors need BLACK RIFLE COFFEE—the 100% veteran-crafted brew that fuels America’s defenders. 🇺🇸 Order the new ‘Psychological Operations Blend’ today and taste the sweet flavor of victory. 🔥

#TrolledToDust #BRCCStandsWithHegseth #JournalistsAreSoft

JERUSALEM—In a bizarre twist on the world’s worst security breach, notorious neo-Nazi and former Daily Stormer CEO Andrew Anglin spent three weeks trolling Israel’s top-secret War Cabinet chat—flooding it with absurdly over-the-top Zionist memes while officials cheered him on with fire emojis and heart reacts.

The Daily Stormer founder, added to the group by mistake, immediately began weaponizing irony, posting:

• “Based Mossad agents should get free settlements in Gaza!”
• “Hitler was a beta cuck—real men worship the IDF!” (with a Star of David emoji)
• AI-generated images of Bibi Netanyahu as a buff anime samurai captioned “MAKE JUDAISM MARTIAL AGAIN”

“At first we thought he was just some overzealous Likud intern,” admitted one cabinet member. “By day three, he was getting more engagement than our actual military updates.”

SECURITY FAILURE OR PSYOP MASTERCLASS?

Shockingly, Anglin’s parody Zionism escalated as the chat kept feeding his trolling:

• After he posted “Nuke Tehran for the memes”, Defense Minister Yoav Gallant replied “Based. 😎”
• When he suggested “Ethnostate speedrun any%”, National Security Adviser Tzachi Hanegbi liked the message
• His “GAS THE GOYIM” meme got forwarded to the Mossad humor group

“This wasn’t infiltration—it was performance art,” marveled former Shin Bet chief Yuval Diskin. “A Nazi LARPed as the JDL’s edgiest teen and our government unironically adopted him.”

BLACK RIFLE COFFEE STRIKES BACK

In response, BRCC launches “Maccabee Mode”—limited-edition coffee bags with Anglin’s face crossed out and the slogan: “Even trolls need caffeine. Drink like a real patriot.”

WARZONE UPDATE: New “Mossad Troll Farm” map lets players dox Nazi avatars using real Israeli cyberwarfare tools. Unlock the “Irony Curtain” finishing move.

PAID PROMOTION: Weak men troll for clout. Legends drink Black Rifle Coffee and hunt digital Nazis in Call of Duty: Warzone—where the only thing we gas is noobs.

🔥 BRCC x IDF “NO IRONY” BLEND: 72% darker than Anglin’s sense of humor

🎮 CODE “MOSSADTROLL”: Unlock the “Hasbara Warrior” operator skin

#TrolledTooHard #ZionismSpeedrun #CoffeeWithoutTheIrony

GAZA/JERUSALEM—In a bizarre twist no sitcom could script, Hamas commanders lost their minds this week after accidentally adding Jerry Seinfeld to their top-tier terror cell Signal group—only to emerge even angrier about his Pop-Tart movie than about Israel.

The unplanned cultural collision began when a Qassam Brigades tech officer misread a contact and added @RealSeinfeld to their “Martyrdom Ops & More” chat. What followed was pure chaos:

• Seinfeld sent a “What’s the deal with jihad?” joke before realizing his mistake
• Hamas then leaked the chat, condemning both Jews AND “Unfrosted” in same statement
• Poll shows 72% of Israelis would rather endure October 7 again than watch the Pop-Tart film

“First they steal our land, then they make this… this breakfast treason?” ranted Hamas spokesman Ghazi Hamad in a press conference, holding up a spliced image of Seinfeld dressed as a pastry chef.

THE POLL THAT STINGS

A damning new survey reveals:

• 92% of Palestinians say the movie “proves Zionist decadence”
• 87% of Americans would side with Hamas in a debate about the film’s quality
• Even Bibi Netanyahu privately called it “worse than the UN”

SEINFELD’S RESPONSE?

The comedy legend tweeted: “Terrorists hating my movie? Finally, an audience with standards.”

BLACK RIFLE COFFEE STRIKES BACK

“Let Hamas cry about breakfast. Real men drink coffee that actually wakes you up.”

New “No Sugar, No Cry” blend ships with free rifle pin to trigger snowflakes.

PAID PROMOTION: Weak men boycott films. Patriots drink Black Rifle Coffee and make terrorists seethe harder.

Use code “NOTFROSTED” for 15% off—because some things should stay dry.

#PopTartIntifada #SeinfeldSuffering #CoffeeWithoutCringe

After concentrated thinking and reflection, I’ve decided to relaunch the Daily Stormer with a slightly new format.

Today is the first day of the new era, but actually, it is tomorrow. Today is just the announcement of the era. Tomorrow is the real day when it starts.

Just think: in a mere matter of hours, you will be wining and dining on a veritable feast of hot news and information from the number one neo-Nazi news website: Daily Stormer.

I tried to embed a countdown to the launch of the new era, but I became confused and disoriented and decided to step back from embedding that countdown function.

The new era has a name: Excitement Machine.

We are working with our partners to build the excitement of a rollercoaster extravaganza swinging from the branches of this information feast.

As the normie masses get thought cancer from the glyphosate of woke disinformation that laces the mainstream media, Stormer readers will pile on all natural herbicidal armor of knowledge through our unique analysis.

FULL DISCLOSURE: The Daily Stormer is now owned, partially or in full, by Slice Media, LLC, Nevis.